grand-pa

Health: 'Pick the right veg' for health

2010-04-27T15:53:00.002+08:00

Obvious choices of fruit and vegetables are not necessarily the healthiest, say researchers.

According to US experts, making simple swaps like eating sweet potatoes instead of carrots and papaya rather than oranges would make a difference.

Foods, like raspberries, watercress and kale, are richer in phytonutrients which may help prevent disease, they told a US meeting.

UK nutritionists said a balanced diet is essential to good health.

The British Nutrition Foundation warned that relying on eating a few select food types to boost health was ill-advised and said there was no such thing as a "superfood".

Experts recommend five portions a day of fruit and veg in a healthy diet.

Plant foods are known to contain "phytonutrient" chemicals that can protect the heart and arteries and prevent cancers.

But the most popular varieties may not be the best, according to US researchers.

They analysed data from US health surveys of people's dietary habits to look at the most common sources of phytonutrients.

They found that for 10 of the 14 phytonutrients studied, a single food type accounted for two-thirds or more of an individual's consumption, regardless of how much fruit and veg they ate overall.

Carrots were the most common source of beta-carotene, oranges and orange juice the most common source of beta-cryptoxanthin, spinach the most common source of lutein/zeaxanthin, strawberries the most common source of ellagic acid and mustard the biggest provider of isothiocynates.

However, for each of these phytonutrients there was a richer food source available.

Richer foods

Switching from carrots to sweet potatoes would nearly double beta-carotene intake, say the researchers.

Similarly, papaya contains 15 times more beta-cryptoxanthin than oranges, while kale has three times more lutein/zeaxanthin than spinach.

Raspberries have three times more ellagic acid than strawberries and one cup of watercress contains as much isothiocyanate as four teaspoonfuls of mustard.

Study leader Keith Randolph, who is a technology strategist for the supplement company Nutrilite, said: "These data highlight the importance of not only the quantity but also the significant impact the quality and variety of the fruits and vegetables you eat can have on your health."

Dr Emma Williams of the British Nutrition Foundation said: "They are right that some foods are richer sources of phytonutrients. But at the end of the day, to be healthy you need to make sure you have a varied and balanced diet. No one food can give you everything you need."

The findings were presented at the 2010 Experimental Biology conference in Anaheim, California.

Adapted from: http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/health/8645104.stm

Tags: health, vegetables, diet

Miscellaneous: Funny Pepsi adverts

2010-02-12T23:55:00.000+08:00

Throughout the years, there's been a few banned/aired Pepsi adverts that were really funny. I thought I'd post a few here, the first one really beats almost any advert I've ever seen hands-down though, enjoy! =)

miscellaneous, funny, advertisement

Joke: Funny exam answers

2009-12-29T23:15:00.001+08:00

Enjoy. =)

joke, exam, funny

Health: Cook instant noodles the correct way

2009-11-29T16:05:00.000+08:00

Having been staying home to study for exams over the study break, it was difficult to avoid the temptations of having instant noodles for convenience sake. Got this email and thought I'd share if with you guys. While eating instant noodles is definitely unhealthy, why not minimise its harmful effects if you could right? Cheers. =)

Ah.... Instant noodles, it's bad for health, counting the calories and the sodium and MSG inside, but in the busy cities of most countries, and with the way how marketing side is promoting, instant noodles has become quite a norm to the society.

I know many may disagree that we should continue to consume instant noodles, but when we just can't avoid having a quick fill of the stomach and ahead with the rush of assignments we have in hand, there are some tips and reminders you need to know about cooking instant noodles.

Normally, we cook the instant noodles by putting the noodles into a pot with water, throw in the powder and let it cook for 3 minutes.

Believe it or not, this is the WRONG method of cooking the instant noodles.

By doing this, when we actually boil the ingredients in the powder, normally with MSG, it will change the molecular structures of the MSG causing it to be toxic. The other thing that you may or may not realised is that, the noodles are coated with wax and it will take around 4 to 5 days for the body to excrete the wax after you have taken the noodles.

The Correct Way

Boil the noodles in a pot with water.
Once the noodles is cooked, take out the noodles, and throw away the water which contains wax.
Boil another pot of water until boiling and put the noodles into the hot boiling water and then shut off the fire.
Only at this stage when the fire is off, and while the water is very hot, put the ingredients with the powder into the water, to make noodle soup.
However, if you need dry noodles, take out the noodles and add the ingredients with the powder and toss it around.

health, instant, noodles

Miscellaneous: Just Some Nice Caricatures...

2009-11-18T09:20:00.002+08:00

miscellaneous, caricature

Miscellaneous: Dusty and Nice

2009-11-16T22:43:00.005+08:00

Heya everyone

Due to lack of content, my updates on Gramp's Place won't be as frequent as ever. However, I'm working on a new blog, Dusty and Nice where I review movies past and present that I enjoyed a lot. This will allow people to know more about some of the older awesome movies that they might've missed and watch them. Do continue to give me your support, thanks! *thumbsup* =)

movie, film, review

With regards

Miscellaneous: Office 2010: The Movie

2009-10-10T13:08:00.002+08:00

miscellaneous, office, movie trailer

Joke: Dilbert's One-liners

2009-08-21T00:05:00.002+08:00

1. I say no to alcohol, it just doesn't listen.

2. A friend in need is a pest indeed.

3. Marriage is one of the chief causes of divorce.

4. Work is fine if it doesn't take too much of your time.

5. When everything comes in your way you're in the wrong lane.

6. The light at the end of the tunnel may be an incoming train..

7. Born free, taxed to death.

8. Everyone has a photographic memory, some just don't have film.

9. Life is unsure; always eat your dessert first.

10. Smile, it makes people wonder what you are thinking.

11. It's not hard to meet expenses, they are everywhere.

12. I love being a writer......what I can't stand is the paperwork.

13. A printer consists of 3 main parts: the case, the jammed paper tray and the blinking red light.

14. The guy who invented the first wheel was an idiot. The guy who invented the other three, he was the genius.

15. The trouble with being punctual is that no one is there to appreciate it.

16. In a country of free speech, why are there phone bills?

17. If you cannot change your mind, are you sure you have one?

18. Beat the 5 O'clock rush, leave work at noon!

19. If you can't convince them, confuse them.

20. It's not the fall that kills you. It's the sudden stop at the end.

21. I couldn't repair your brakes, so I made your horn louder.

22. Hot glass looks same as cold glass. - Cunino's Law of Burnt Fingers

23. The cigarette does the smoking you are just the sucker.

24. Someday is not a day of the week

25. Whenever I find the key to success, someone changes the lock.

26. To err is human; to forgive is not a Company policy.

27. The road to success......Is always under construction.

28. Alcohol doesn't solve any problems, but if you think again, neither does Milk.

29. In order to get a Loan, you first need to prove that you don't need it.

......and here's the best of the lot

30. All the desirable things in life are either illegal, expensive, fattening or in love with someone else.

Tags: joke, humor, one-liners

Miscellaneous: Apple vs Blackberry

2009-08-17T12:30:00.002+08:00

These are really funny hahahaha =D

Tags: advert, apple, blackberry

Miscellaneous: Tax System - Explained In Beer!

2009-08-12T17:43:00.002+08:00

Suppose that every day, ten men go out for beer and the bill for all ten comes to $100.

If they paid their bill the way we pay our taxes, it would go something like this…

The first four men (the poorest) would pay nothing.
The fifth would pay $1.
The sixth would pay $3.
The seventh would pay $7.
The eighth would pay $12.
The ninth would pay $18.
The tenth man (the richest) would pay $59.

So, that's what they decided to do..

The ten men drank in the bar every day and seemed quite happy with the arrangement, until one day, the owner threw them a curve.

"Since you are all such good customers," he said, "I'm going to reduce the cost of your daily beer by $20." Drinks for the ten now cost just $80.

The group still wanted to pay their bill the way we pay our taxes.

So the first four men were unaffected.

They would still drink for free. But what about the other six men? The paying customers?

How could they divide the $20 windfall so that everyone would get his fair share?'

They realized that $20 divided by six is $3.33. But if they subtracted that from everybody's share, then the fifth man and the sixth man would each end up being paid to drink his beer.

So, the bar owner suggested that it would be fair to reduce each man's bill by roughly the same proportion, and he proceeded to work out the amounts each should pay.

And so the fifth man, like the first four, now paid nothing (100% savings)
The sixth now paid $2 instead of $3 (33% savings).
The seventh now pay $5 instead of $7 (28% savings).
The eighth now paid $9 instead of $12 (25% savings).
The ninth now paid $14 instead of $18 ( 22% savings).
The tenth now paid $49 instead of $59 (16% savings).

Each of the six was better off than before. And the first four continued to drink for free. But once outside the restaurant, the men began to compare their savings.

"I only got a dollar out of the $20,"declared the sixth man.

He pointed to the tenth man," but he got $10!"

"Yeah, that's right," exclaimed the fifth man. "I only saved a Dollar, too. It's unfair that he got ten times more than I!"

"That's true!!" shouted the seventh man. "Why should he get $10 back when I got only two? The wealthy get all the breaks!"

"Wait a minute," yelled the first four men in unison. "We didn't get anything at all. The system exploits the poor!"

The nine men surrounded the tenth and beat him up.

The next night the tenth man didn't show up for drinks, so the nine sat down and had beers without him. But when it came time to pay the bill, they discovered something important. They didn't have enough money between all of them for even half of the bill!

And that, boys and girls, journalists and college professors, is how our tax system works.

The people who pay the highest taxes get the most benefit from a tax reduction.

Tax them too much, attack them for being wealthy, and they just may not show up anymore.

In fact, they might start drinking overseas where the atmosphere is somewhat friendlier.

David R. Kamerschen, Ph.D.
Professor of Economics
University of Georgia

For those who understand, no explanation is needed.

For those who do not understand, no explanation is possible

Tags: miscellaneous, interesting, tax

Miscellaneous: 4 Things You Never Knew Your Cell Phone Could Do

2009-08-04T11:23:00.001+08:00

For all the folks with cell phones, this should be printed and kept in your car, purse and wallet. Good information to have with you.

There are a few things that can be done in times of grave emergencies. Your mobile phone can actually be a life saver or an emergency tool for survival. Check out the things that you can do with it!

ONE: Emergency
The emergency number worldwide for mobile is 112. If you find yourself out of the coverage area of your mobile network and there is an emergency, dial 112 and the mobile will search for any existing network to establish the emergency number for you. Interestingly, this number 112 can be dialled even if the keypad is locked. Try it!

TWO: Have you locked your keys in the car?
Does your car have remote keyless entry? This may come in handy someday. Good reason to own a cellphone: If you locked your keys in the car and the spare keys are at home, call someone at home on their cell phone from your cell phone.

Hold your cell phone about a foot from your car door and have the person at home press the unlock button, holding it near the cell phone on their end. Your car will unlock. Saves someone from having to drive your keys to you. Distance is not an issue. You could be hundreds of miles away, and if you can reach someone who has the other "remote" for your car, you can unlock the doors (or the trunk).

THREE: Hidden Battery Power
Imagine your cell battery is very low. To activate, press the keys *3370#*. Your cell phone will restart with this reserve and the instrument will show a 50% increase in battery. This reserve will get charged when you charge your cell phone the next time.

FOUR: How to disable a stolen mobile phone?
To check your mobile phone's serial number, key in: *#06#*
A 15-digit code will appear on the screen. This number is unique to your handset. Write it down and keep it somewhere safe. When your phone gets stolen, you can phone your service provider and give them this code. They will then be able to block your handset so even if the thief changes the SIM card, your phone will be totally useless. You probably won't get your phone back, but at least you know that whoever stole it can't use/sell it either. If everybody does this, there would be no point in people stealing mobile phones.

Miscellaneous: Latest Heineken Advert

2009-07-31T18:42:00.003+08:00

Check this advert out, it's really priceless, lol.

If you loved the first, check out this spoof as well, cheers! =)

Miscellaneous: Best Poem of 2008 nominated by the UN

2008-11-09T14:37:00.005+08:00

This poem was nominated by the UN as the best poem of 2008, written by an African kid.

When I born, I black
When I grow up, I black
When I go in Sun, I black
When I scared, I black
When I sick, I black
When I die, I still black

And you white fellow
When you born, you pink
When you grow up, you white
When you go in sun, you red
When you cold, you blue
When you scared, you yellow
When you sick, you green
And when you die, you gray

And you calling me coloured?

Tags: miscellaneous, poem, racism

Miscellaneous: Difference between a Guy and a Girl

2008-11-04T08:53:00.003+08:00

Tags:miscellaneous, habits, guy and girl

Miscellaneous: Life and How to Survive It

2008-10-19T12:37:00.001+08:00

Address at Singapore Nanyang Technological University Convocation 2008 by Adrian Tan (author of Teenage Textbook)

Life and How to Survive It

I must say thank you to the faculty and staff of the Wee Kim Wee
School of Communication and Information for inviting me to give your

convocation address. It's a wonderful honour and a privilege for me
to speak here for ten minutes without fear of contradiction,
defamation or retaliation. I say this as a Singaporean and more so as
a husband.

My wife is a wonderful person and perfect in every way except one.
She is the editor of a magazine. She corrects people for a living.
She has honed her expert skills over a quarter of a century, mostly
by practising at home during conversations between her and me.

On the other hand, I am a litigator. Essentially, I spend my day
telling people how wrong they are. I make my living being
disagreeable.

Nevertheless, there is perfect harmony in our matrimonial home. That
is because when an editor and a litigator have an argument, the one
who triumphs is always the wife.

And so I want to start by giving one piece of advice to the men: when
you've already won her heart, you don't need to win every argument.

Marriage is considered one milestone of life. Some of you may already
be married. Some of you may never be married. Some of you will be
married. Some of you will enjoy the experience so much, you will be
married many, many times. Good for you.

The next big milestone in your life is today: your graduation. The
end of education. You're done learning.

You've probably been told the big lie that 'Learning is a lifelong
process' and that therefore you will continue studying and taking
masters' degrees and doctorates and professorships and so on. You
know the sort of people who tell you that? Teachers. Don't you think
there is some measure of conflict of interest? They are in the
business of learning, after all. Where would they be without you?
They need you to be repeat customers.

The good news is that they're wrong.

The bad news is that you don't need further education because your
entire life is over. It is gone. That may come as a shock to some of
you. You're in your teens or early twenties. People may tell you that
you will live to be 70, 80, 90 years old. That is your life
expectancy.

I love that term: life expectancy. We all understand the term to mean
the average life span of a group of people. But I'm here to talk
about a bigger idea, which is what you expect from your life.

You may be very happy to know that Singapore is currently ranked as
the country with the third highest life expectancy. We are behind
Andorra and Japan , and tied with San Marino . It seems quite clear
why people in those countries, and ours, live so long. We share one
thing in common: our football teams are all hopeless. There's very
little danger of any of our citizens having their pulses raised by
watching us play in the World Cup. Spectators are more likely to be
lulled into a gentle and restful nap.

Singaporeans have a life expectancy of 81.8 years. Singapore men live
to an average of 79.21 years, while Singapore women live more than
five years longer, probably to take into account the additional time
they need to spend in the bathroom.

So here you are, in your twenties, thinking that you'll have another
40 years to go. Four decades in which to live long and prosper.

Bad news. Read the papers. There are people dropping dead when
they're 50, 40, 30 years old. Or quite possibly just after finishing
their convocation. They would be very disappointed that they didn't
meet their life expectancy.

I'm here to tell you this. Forget about your life expectancy.

After all, it's calculated based on an average. And you never, ever
want to expect being average.

Revisit those expectations. You might be looking forward to working,
falling in love, marrying, raising a family. You are told that, as
graduates, you should expect to find a job paying so much, where your
hours are so much, where your responsibilities are so much.

That is what is expected of you. And if you live up to it, it will be
an awful waste.

If you expect that, you will be limiting yourself. You will be living
your life according to boundaries set by average people. I have
nothing against average people. But no one should aspire to be them.
And you don't need years of education by the best minds in Singapore
to prepare you to be average.

What you should prepare for is mess. Life's a mess. You are not
entitled to expect anything from it. Life is not fair. Everything
does not balance out in the end. Life happens, and you have no
control over it. Good and bad things happen to you day by day, hour
by hour, moment by moment. Your degree is a poor armour against fate.

Don't expect anything. Erase all life expectancies. Just live. Your
life is over as of today. At this point in time, you have grown as
tall as you will ever be, you are physically the fittest you will
ever be in your entire life and you are probably looking the best
that you will ever look. This is as good as it gets. It is all
downhill from here. Or up. No one knows.

What does this mean for you? It is good that your life is over.

Since your life is over, you are free. Let me tell you the many
wonderful things that you can do when you are free.

The most important is this: do not work.

Work is anything that you are compelled to do. By its very nature, it
is undesirable.

Work kills. The Japanese have a term 'Karoshi', which means death
from overwork. That's the most dramatic form of how work can kill.
But it can also kill you in more subtle ways. If you work, then day
by day, bit by bit, your soul is chipped away, disintegrating until
there's nothing left. A rock has been ground into sand and dust.

There's a common misconception that work is necessary. You will meet
people working at miserable jobs. They tell you they are 'making a
living'. No, they're not. They're dying, frittering away their
fast-extinguishing lives doing things which are, at best, meaningless
and, at worst, harmful.

People will tell you that work ennobles you, that work lends you a
certain dignity. Work makes you free. The slogan 'Arbeit macht frei'
was placed at the entrances to a number of Nazi concentration camps.
Utter nonsense.

Do not waste the vast majority of your life doing something you hate
so that you can spend the small remainder sliver of your life in
modest comfort. You may never reach that end anyway.

Resist the temptation to get a job. Instead, play. Find something you
enjoy doing. Do it. Over and over again. You will become good at it
for two reasons: you like it, and you do it often. Soon, that will
have value in itself.

I like arguing, and I love language. So, I became a litigator. I
enjoy it and I would do it for free. If I didn't do that, I would've
been in some other type of work that still involved writing fiction -
probably a sports journalist.

So what should you do? You will find your own niche. I don't imagine
you will need to look very hard. By this time in your life, you will
have a very good idea of what you will want to do. In fact, I'll go
further and say the ideal situation would be that you will not be
able to stop yourself pursuing your passions. By this time you should
know what your obsessions are. If you enjoy showing off your
knowledge and feeling superior, you might become a teacher.

Find that pursuit that will energise you, consume you, become an
obsession. Each day, you must rise with a restless enthusiasm. If you
don't, you are working.

Most of you will end up in activities which involve communication. To
those of you I have a second message: be wary of the truth. I'm not
asking you to speak it, or write it, for there are times when it is
dangerous or impossible to do those things. The truth has a great
capacity to offend and injure, and you will find that the closer you
are to someone, the more care you must take to disguise or even
conceal the truth. Often, there is great virtue in being evasive, or
equivocating. There is also great skill. Any child can blurt out the
truth, without thought to the consequences. It takes great maturity
to appreciate the value of silence.

In order to be wary of the truth, you must first know it. That
requires great frankness to yourself. Never fool the person in the
mirror.

I have told you that your life is over, that you should not work, and
that you should avoid telling the truth. I now say this to you: be
hated.

It's not as easy as it sounds. Do you know anyone who hates you? Yet
every great figure who has contributed to the human race has been
hated, not just by one person, but often by a great many. That hatred
is so strong it has caused those great figures to be shunned, abused,
murdered and in one famous instance, nailed to a cross.

One does not have to be evil to be hated. In fact, it's often the
case that one is hated precisely because one is trying to do right by
one's own convictions. It is far too easy to be liked, one merely has
to be accommodating and hold no strong convictions. Then one will
gravitate towards the centre and settle into the average. That cannot
be your role. There are a great many bad people in the world, and if
you are not offending them, you must be bad yourself. Popularity is a
sure sign that you are doing something wrong.

The other side of the coin is this: fall in love.

I didn't say 'be loved'. That requires too much compromise. If one
changes one's looks, personality and values, one can be loved by
anyone.

Rather, I exhort you to love another human being. It may seem odd for
me to tell you this. You may expect it to happen naturally, without
deliberation. That is false. Modern society is anti-love. We've taken
a microscope to everyone to bring out their flaws and shortcomings.
It far easier to find a reason not to love someone, than otherwise.
Rejection requires only one reason. Love requires complete
acceptance. It is hard work - the only kind of work that I find
palatable.

Loving someone has great benefits. There is admiration, learning,
attraction and something which, for the want of a better word, we
call happiness. In loving someone, we become inspired to better
ourselves in every way. We learn the truth worthlessness of material
things. We celebrate being human. Loving is good for the soul.

Loving someone is therefore very important, and it is also important
to choose the right person. Despite popular culture, love doesn't
happen by chance, at first sight, across a crowded dance floor. It
grows slowly, sinking roots first before branching and blossoming. It
is not a silly weed, but a mighty tree that weathers every storm.

You will find, that when you have someone to love, that the face is
less important than the brain, and the body is less important than
the heart.

You will also find that it is no great tragedy if your love is not
reciprocated. You are not doing it to be loved back. Its value is to
inspire
you.

Finally, you will find that there is no half-measure when it comes to
loving someone. You either don't, or you do with every cell in your
body, completely and utterly, without reservation or apology. It
consumes you, and you are reborn, all the better for it.

Don't work. Avoid telling the truth. Be hated. Love someone.

You're going to have a busy life. Thank goodness there's no life
expectancy.

Tags:miscellaneous, life, motivational

Miscellaneous: Cool Stunts by Russ and Paul Swift!

2008-09-28T16:47:00.003+08:00

Subaru parking stunt

Subaru parallel parking stunt

2-wheeling!

donuts!

Tags: miscellaneous, Russ Swift, Subaru, stunt

Miscellaneous: Cool Carvings IV

2008-09-23T15:19:00.001+08:00

Not sure if they're real, hehe, they still look cool nonetheless. Enjoy! =) - Espen

Tags: miscellaneous, carving, fruits

Miscellaneous: Cool Carvings III

2008-09-23T15:18:00.000+08:00

Miscellaneous: Cool Carvings II

2008-09-23T15:17:00.001+08:00

Miscellaneous: Cool Carvings!

2008-09-23T15:12:00.000+08:00

Miscellaneous: Dropped your Mobile Phone in Water?

2008-09-20T12:54:00.004+08:00

Tags: miscellaneous, wet, electronics

Miscellaneous: Will Power

2008-08-05T00:06:00.004+08:00

I smiled after looking at the first photo... You will also smile... Just scroll down and you will get to know the story of will power. Here it goes...

You thought the dog was imitating the man...

Entertaining the college kids right?

Now have a close look at it...

Despite being an animal, he gets respect...

He gets warm welcome everywhere...

He is STAND-ALONE.

The doors are open for only those who believe in themselves and will power which can make an animal walk on TWO LEGS! I won't say pass it on to others... I know you will.

Health: Enoki Mushroom Prevents Cancer

2008-07-29T23:15:00.005+08:00

Enoki Mushrooms are also known as Velvet Shank Mushrooms.

Golden-needle-mushrooms (jin-gen-goo) successfully kills 95% of cancer cells. (Taiwan report) Research done by Singapore U shows that eating this mushroom can destroy 95% of cancer cells in our body by boosting our immume system.

Professor Phan Hwai Chong of Yang Ming Research Centre in Taiwan told Reporter that consuming this kind of mushroom, one of the ingredients in the mushroom can trigger the multiplication of our healthy "defensive" cells. By out-numbering the cancer cells, healthy cells help iradicate cancer cells.

American scientists have since run tests on this particular type of mushroom extract with blood, done outside human body. Results show that mushroom extract is able to destroy cancer cells. According to Taiwan professor, since healthy "fighting" cells can be multiplied to tens and thousands of times, it can either be used as drip or just by eating mushroom.

The mushroom is most frequently taken with steam boat. Cooking time should be less than 3 minutes, or the healing property would greatly diminish.

Preparation, uses and tips:

Before using enoki mushrooms, rinse them thoroughly and trim off the roots at the base of the cluster. Enoki mushrooms can be eaten raw or cooked... Add them to salads, sandwiches, soups, pasta sauces, and stir-fried rice and vegetable dishes. To retain the delicate flavour of the mushrooms, add them at the end of the cooking process.

Buying and storing tips:

When purchasing fresh enoki mushrooms, select mushrooms with firm, white, shiny caps. Avoid purchasing enoki mushrooms with slimy or brownish stalks. Enoki mushrooms keep up to 14 days in the refrigerator if stored in a paper bag. (You should try storing veggies or fruits in those aluminium foil bags that you throw away if you do buy Milo or Quaker Oats in packages type. It seems they can keep longer and fresher. Keep one end open and not seal it tight.)

Varieties:

Most commercially available enoki mushrooms are the pale white cultivated variety.

Nutrition Highlights:

Enoki mushrooms (raw)

1 large (5g)

Calories: 1.7

Protein: 0.12g

Carbohydrate: 0.35g

Total fat: 0.02g

Fiber: 0.13g

Good health to you!

Tags: health, mushroom, tips

Story: How to Dance in the Rain

2008-07-16T13:19:00.002+08:00

It was busy morning, about 8.30, when an elderly gentleman in his 80's arrived to have stitches removed from his thumb.

He said he was in a hurry as he had an appointment at 9am. I took his vital signs and had him take a seat, knowing it would be over an hour before someone would be able to see him. I saw him looking at his watch, and decided, since I was not busy with another patient, I would evaluate his wound.

While taking care of his wound, I asked him if he had another doctor's appointment this morning, as he was in such a hurry. The gentleman told me no, that he needed to go to the nursing home to eat breakfast with his wife.

I inquired as to her health. He told me she had been there for a while and that she was a victim of Alzheimer's Disease. As we talked, I asked if she would be upset if he was a bit late. He replied that she no longer knew who he was, that she had not recognized him in five years now.

I was surprised, and asked him, "And you still go every morning, even though she doesn't know who you are?" He smiled as he patted my hand and said, "She doesn't know me, but I still know who she is."

I had to hold back tears as he left. I had goose bumps on my arm, and thought, "That is the kind of love I want in my life."

True love is neither physical, nor romantic. True love is an acceptance of all that is, has been, will be, and will not be. With all the jokes and fun that are in emails, sometimes there is one that comes along that has an important message. This one I thought I could share with you.

The happiest people don't necessarily have the best of everything, they just make the best of everything they have.

"Life isn't about how to survive the storm,

but how to dance in the rain."

Tags: story, love

Miscellaneous: Weird!

2008-07-03T11:02:00.004+08:00

You'll need to look at this on a pc. You also have to get out of your seat and walk away from your computer. People may think you're crazy, but it's well worth it.

When you look at this picture close up, you see its Albert Einstein. But if you stand 15 feet away? It will become Marilyn Monroe. Give it a try.

Tags: miscellaneous, einstein, monroe

Miscellaneous: Are You Smarter than a 5th Grader?

2008-06-28T10:17:00.003+08:00

Check this out, it's fun =) - SC

http://www.mikescomputerinfo.com/inteltest.htm

Tags: miscellaneous, fun, IQ

Miscellaneous: FYI on Earthquakes

2008-06-19T21:55:00.004+08:00

F.Y.I. Where to be During an Earthquake

Remember that stuff about hiding under a table or standing in a doorway?? Well, this guy has a completely reverse opinion. This is very interesting, different from what we were all taught.

Boy! Is this ever an eye opener. Directly opposite of what we've been taught over the years! I can remember in school being told to, 'duck and cover' or stand in a doorway during an earthquake. This guy's findings is absolutely amazing. I hope we all remember his survival method if we are ever in an earthquake!!! Please read this and pass the info along to your family members; it could save their lives someday!

EXTRACT FROM DOUG COPP'S ARTICLE ON THE: 'TRIANGLE OF LIFE'

My name is Doug Copp. I am the Rescue Chief and Disaster Manager of the American Rescue Team International (ARTI), the world's most experienced rescue team. The information in this article will save lives in an earthquake.

I have crawled inside 875 collapsed buildings, worked with rescue teams from 60 countries, founded rescue teams in several countries, and I am a member of many rescue teams from many countries.

I was the United Nations expert in Disaster Mitigation for two years. I have worked at every major disaster in the world since 1985, except for simultaneous disasters.

The first building I ever crawled inside of was a school in Mexico City during the 1985 earthquake. Every child was under its desk. Every child was crushed to the thickness of their bones. They could have survived by lying down next to their desks in the aisles. It was obscene, unnecessary and I wondered why the children were not in the aisles. I didn't at the time know that the children were told to hide under something.

Simply stated, when buildings collapse, the weight of the ceilings falling upon the objects or furniture inside crushes these objects, leaving a space or void next to them. This space is what I call the 'triangle of life'. The larger the object, the stronger, the less it will compact. The less the object compacts, the larger the void, the greater the probability that the person who is using this void for safety will not be injured. The next time you watch collapsed buildings, on television, count the 'triangles' you see formed. They are everywhere. It is the most common shape, you will see, in a collapsed building.

TIPS FOR EARTHQUAKE SAFETY

1) Most everyone who simply 'ducks and covers' WHEN BUILDINGS COLLAPSE are crushed to death. People who get under objects, like desks or cars, are crushed.

2) Cats, dogs and babies often naturally curl up in the fetal position. You should too in an earthquake. It is a natural safety/survival instinct. You can survive in a smaller void. Get next to an object, next to a sofa, next to a large bulky object that will compress slightly but leave a void next to it.

3) Wooden buildings are the safest type of construction to be in during an earthquake. Wood is flexible and moves with the force of the earthquake. If the wooden building does collapse, large survival voids are created. Also, the wooden building has less concentrated, crushing weight. Brick buildings will break into individual bricks. Bricks will cause many injuries but less squashed bodies than concrete slabs.

4) If you are in bed during the night and an earthquake occurs, simply roll off the bed. A safe void will exist around the bed. Hotels can achieve a much greater survival rate in earthquakes, simply by posting a sign on The back of the door of every room telling occupants to lie down on the floor, next to the bottom of the bed during an earthquake.

5) If an earthquake happens and you cannot easily escape by getting out the door or window, then lie down and curl up in the fetal position next to a sofa, or large chair.

6) Most everyone who gets under a doorway when buildings collapse is killed. How? If you stand under a doorway and the doorjamb falls forward or backward you will be crushed by the ceiling above. If the door jam falls sideways you will be cut in half by the doorway. In either case, you will be killed!

7) Never go to the stairs. The stairs have a different 'moment of frequency' (they swing separately from the main part of the building). The stairs and remainder of the building continuously bump into each other until structural failure of the stairs takes place. The people who get on stairs before they fail are chopped up by the stair treads - horribly mutilated. Even if the building doesn't collapse, stay away from the stairs. The stairs are a likely part of the building to be damaged. Even if the stairs are not collapsed by the earthquake, they may collapse later when overloaded by fleeing people. They should always be checked for safety, even when the rest of the building is not damaged.

8) Get Near the Outer Walls Of Buildings Or Outside Of Them If Possible - It is much better to be near the outside of the building rather than the interior. The farther inside you are from the outside perimeter of the building the greater the probability that your escape route will be blocked.

9) People inside of their vehicles are crushed when the road above falls in an earthquake and crushes their vehicles; which is exactly what happened with the slabs between the decks of the Nimitz Freeway. The victims of the San Francisco earthquake all stayed inside of their vehicles. They were all killed. They could have easily survived by getting out and sitting or lying next to their vehicles. Everyone killed would have survived if they had been able to get out of their cars and sit or lie next to them. All the crushed cars had voids 3 feet high next to them, except for the cars that had columns fall directly across them.

10) I discovered, while crawling inside of collapsed newspaper offices and other offices with a lot of paper, that paper does not compact. Large voids are found surrounding stacks of paper.

Spread the word and save someone's life... The Entire world is experiencing natural calamities so be prepared!

'We are but angels with one wing, it takes two to fly'

In 1996 we made a film, which proved my survival methodology to be correct. The Turkish Federal Government, City of Istanbul , University of Istanbul Case Productions and ARTI cooperated to film this practical, scientific test. We collapsed a school and a home with 20 mannequins inside. Ten mannequins did 'duck and cover,' and ten mannequins I used in my 'triangle of life' survival method. After the simulated earthquake collapse we crawled through the rubble and entered the building to film and document the results. The film, in which I practiced my survival techniques under directly observable, scientific conditions , relevant to building collapse, showed there would have been zero percent survival for those doing duck and cover.

There would likely have been 100 percent survivability for people using my method of the 'triangle of life.' This film has been seen by millions of viewers on television in Turkey and the rest of Europe , and it was seen in the USA , Canada and Latin America on the TV program Real TV

Tags:miscellaneous, earthquake, safety

Joke: Beggars

2008-06-10T13:33:00.001+08:00

Ahmed and Hamid are both beggars in London. Ahmed drives a Mercedes, lives in a mortgage free house and has a lot of money to spend.

Hamid only brings in 2 to 3 pounds a day. Hamid asks Ahmed how he manages to bring home a suitcase full of £10 notes every day.

Ahmed says, 'Look at your sign - It says, 'I have no work, a wife and six kids to support.' Britons who see that do not feel as if they have accomplished anything by giving you money. You will still have no job and a large family. Now look at my sign.'

So Hamid looks at Ahmed's sign which reads, I only need another £10 to go back to Pakistan. ' !!

Miscellaneous: Listerine... Mosquito Spray... Worth a try...

2008-05-24T12:00:00.000+08:00

I was at a deck party awhile back, and the bugs were having a ball biting everyone. A man at the party sprayed the lawn and deck floor with Listerine, and the little demons disappeared. The next year I filled a 4-ounce spray bottle and used it around my seat whenever I saw mosquitoes. And voila! That worked as well. It worked at a picnic where we sprayed the area around the food table, the children's swing area, and the standing water nearby. During the summer, I don't leave home without it... Pass it on.

OUR FRIEND'S COMMENTS: I tried this on my deck and around all of my doors. It works - in fact, it killed them instantly. I bought my bottle from Target and it cost me $1.89. It really doesn't take much, and it is a big bottle, too; so it is not as expensive to use as the can of Bug-spray you buy that doesn't last 30 minutes.

So, try this, please. It will last a couple of days.. Don't spray directly on a wood door (like your front door), but spray around the frame. Spray around the window frames, and even inside the dog house.

Haven't tried it myself, lol. =P - SC

Tags: miscellaneous, health, mosquito

Miscellaneous: Don't Leave It Too Late

2008-05-19T18:45:00.000+08:00

A message by George Carlin:

The paradox of our time in history is that we have taller buildings but shorter tempers, wider freeways, but narrower viewpoints. We spend more, but have less, we buy more, but enjoy less. We have bigger houses and smaller families, more conveniences, but less time. We have more degrees but less sense, more knowledge, but less judgment, more experts, yet more problems, more medicine, but less wellness.

We drink too much, smoke too much, spend too recklessly, laugh too little, drive too fast, get too angry, stay up too late, get up too tired, read too little, watch TV too much, and pray too seldom.

We have multiplied our possessions, but reduced our values. We talk too much, love too seldom, and hate too often. We've learned how to make a living, but not a life.

We've added years to life not life to years. We've been all the way to the moon and back, bu have trouble crossing the street to meet a new neighbour. We conquered outer space but not inner space. We've done larger things, but not better things.

We've cleaned up the air, but polluted the soul. We've conquered the atom, but not our prejudice. We write more, but learn less. We plan more, but accomplish less. We've learned to rush, but not to wait. We build more computers to hold more information, to produce more copies than ever, but we communicate less and less.

These are the times of fast foods and slow digestion, big men and small character, steep profits and shallow relationships. These are the days of two incomes but more divorce, fancier houses, but broken homes. These are days of quick trips, disposable diapers, throwaway morality, one night stands, overweight bodies, and pills that do everything from cheer, to quiet, to kill. It is a time when there is much in the showroom window and nothing in the stockroom. A time when technology can bring this letter to you, and a time when you can choose either to share this insight, or to just hit delete...

Remember, send more time with your loved ones, because they are not going to be around forever.

Remember, say a kind word to someone who looks up to you in awe, because that little person soon will grow up and leave your side.

Remember, to give a warm hug to the one next to you, because that is the only treasure you can give with your heart and it doesn't cost a cent.

Remember, to say, "I love you" to your partner and your loved ones, but most of all mean it. A kiss and an embrace will mend hurt when it comes from deep inside you.

Remember to hold hands and cherish the moment for someday that person will not be there again.

Give time to love, give time to speak! And give time to share the precious thought in your mind.

AND ALWAYS REMEMBER:

Life is not measured by the number of breaths we take, but by the moments that take our breath away.

Joke: Love Story

2008-05-14T18:00:00.000+08:00

Just because someone doesn't love you the way you want them to, doesn't mean they don't love you with all they have. Ralph and Edna were both patients in a mental hospital. One day while they were walking past the hospital swimming pool, Ralph suddenly jumped into the deep end. He sank to the bottom of the pool and stayed there. Edna promptly jumped in to save him. She swam to the bottom and pulled him out.

When the head nursing director became aware of Edna's heroic act she immediately ordered her to be discharged from the hospital, as she now considered her to be mentally stable. When she went to tell Edna the news she said, "Edna, I have good news and bad news. The good news is you're being discharged, since you were able to rationally respond to a crisis by jumping in and saving the life of the person you love. I have concluded that your act displays sound mindedness. The bad news is, Ralph hung himself in the bathroom with his bathrobe belt right after you saved him. I am sorry, but he is dead."

Edna replied, "He didn't hang himself, I put him there to dry. How soon can I go home?"

Tags: joke, humor, love

Story: The 4 Wives

2008-05-09T20:59:00.003+08:00

There was a rich merchant who had 4 wives. He loved the 4th wife the most and adorned her with rich robes and treated her to delicacies. He took great care of her and gave her nothing but the best.

He also loved the 3rd wife very much. He's very proud of her and always wanted to show off her to his friends. However, the merchant is always in great fear that she might run away with some other men.

He too, loved his 2nd wife. She is a very considerate person, always patient and in fact is the merchant's confidante. Whenever the merchant faced some problems, he always turned to his 2nd wife and she would always help him out and tide him through difficult times.

Now, the merchant's 1st wife is a very loyal partner and has made great contributions in maintaining his wealth and business as well as taking care of the household. However, the merchant did not love the first wife and although she loved him deeply, he hardly took notice of her.

One day, the merchant fell ill. Before long, he knew that he was going to die soon. He thought of his luxurious life and told himself, "Now I have 4 wives with me. But when I die, I'll be alone. How lonely I'll be!"

Thus, he asked the 4th wife, "I loved you most, endowed you with the finest clothing and showered great care over you. Now that I'm dying, will you follow me and keep me company?" "No way!" replied the 4th wife and she walked away without another word.

The answer cut like a sharp knife right into the merchant's heart. The sad merchant then asked the 3rd wife, "I have loved you so much for all my life. Now that I'm dying, will you follow me and keep me company?" "No!" replied the 3rd wife. "Life is so good over here! I'm going to remarry when you die!" The merchant's heart sank and turned cold.

He then asked the 2nd wife, "I always turned to you for help and you've always helped me out. Now I need your help again. When I die, will you follow me and keep me company?" "I'm sorry, I can't help you out this time!" replied the 2nd wife. "At the very most, I can only send you to your grave." The answer came like a bolt of thunder and the merchant was devastated.

Then a voice called out : "I'll leave with you. I'll follow you no matter where you go." The merchant looked up and there was his first wife. She was so skinny, almost like she suffered from malnutrition. Greatly grieved, the merchant said, "I should have taken much better care of you while I could have !"

Actually, we all have 4 wives in our lives
a. The 4th wife is our body. No matter how much time and effort we lavish in making it look good, it'll leave us when we die.
b. Our 3rd wife ? Our possessions, status and wealth. When we die, they all go to others.
c. The 2nd wife is our family and friends. No matter how close they had been there for us when we're alive, the furthest they can stay by us is up to the grave.
d. The 1st wife is in fact our soul, often neglected in our pursuit of material, wealth and sensual pleasure.

Tags:story, wives, life

Joke: Engineers

2008-05-06T14:10:00.000+08:00

Take One
Two engineering students were walking across campus when one said, "Where did you get such a great bike?" The second engineer replied, "Well, I was walking along yesterday minding my own business when a beautiful woman rode up on this bike. She threw the bike to the ground, took off all her clothes and said, "Take what you want." The second engineer nodded approvingly, "Good choice; the clothes probably wouldn't have fit."

Take Two
To the optimist, the glass is half full. To the pessimist, the glass is half empty. To the engineer, the glass is twice as big as it needs to be.

Take Three
A pastor, a doctor and an engineer were waiting one morning for a particularly slow group of golfers. The engineer fumed, "What's with these guys? We must have been waiting for 15 minutes!" The doctor chimed in, "I don't know, but I've never seen such ineptitude!" The pastor said, "Hey, here comes the greens keeper. Let's have a word with him." "Hi, George. Say, what's with that group ahead of us? They're rather slow, aren't they?" The greens keeper replied, "Oh, yes, that's a group of blind firefighters who lost their sight saving our clubhouse from a fire last year, so we always let them play for free anytime."The group was silent for a moment. The pastor said, "That's so sad. I think I will say a special prayer for them tonight." The doctor said, "Good idea. And I'm going to contact my ophthalmologist buddy and see if there's anything he can do for them." The engineer said, "Why can't these guys play at night?"

Take Four
There was an engineer who had an exceptional gift for fixing all things mechanical. After serving his company loyally for over 30 years, he happily retired. Several years later the company contacted him regarding a seemingly impossible problem they were having with one of their multimillion dollar machines. They had tried everything and everyone else to get the machine to work but to no avail. In desperation, they called on the retired engineer who had solved so many of their problems in the past. The engineer reluctantly took the challenge. He spent a day studying the huge machine. Finally, at the end of the day, he marked a small "x" in chalk on a particular component of the machine and said, "This is where your problem is." The part was replaced and the machine worked perfectly again. The company received a bill for $50,000 from the engineer for his service. They demanded an itemized accounting of his charges. The engineer responded briefly: One chalk mark $1; Knowing where to put it $49,999. It was paid in full and the engineer retired again in peace.

Take Five
What is the difference between Mechanical Engineers and Civil Engineers? Mechanical Engineers build weapons. Civil Engineers build targets.

Take Six
Three engineering students were gathered together discussing the possible designers of the human body. One said, "It was a mechanical engineer. Just look at all the joints." Another said, "No, it was an electrical engineer. The nervous system has many thousands of electrical connections." The last said, "Actually it was a civil engineer. Who else would run a toxic waste pipeline through a recreational area?

Take Seven
"Normal people ... believe that if it ain't broke, don't fix it. Engineers believe that if it ain't broke, it doesn't have enough features yet."

Take Eight
An architect, an artist and an engineer were discussing whether it was better to spend time with the wife or a mistress. The architect said he enjoyed time with his wife, building a solid foundation for an enduring relationship. The artist said he enjoyed time with his mistress, because of the passion and mystery he found there. The engineer said, "I like both." Both?" they asked. Engineer: "Yeah. If you have a wife and a mistress, they will each assume you are spending time with the other woman, and you can go to the lab and get some work done."

Take Nine
An engineer was crossing a road one day when a frog called out to him and said, "If you kiss me, I'll turn into a beautiful princess." He bent over, picked up the frog and put it in his pocket. The frog spoke up again and said, "If you kiss me and turn me back into a beautiful princess, I will stay with you for one week." The engineer took the frog out of his pocket, smiled at it and returned it to the pocket. The frog then cried out, "If you kiss me and turn me back into a princess, I'll stay with you and do ANYTHING you want." Again the engineer took the frog out, smiled at it and put it back into his pocket. Finally, the frog asked, "What is the matter? I've told you I'm a beautiful princess, that I'll stay with you for a week and do anything you want. Why won't you kiss me?" The engineer said, "Look I'm an engineer. I don't have time for a girlfriend, but a talking frog, now that's cool."

Tags: joke, humor, engineer

Miscellaneous: Sony Handycam advert

2008-05-02T23:51:00.001+08:00

Here's a really cute advert with a catchy jingle from Sony, reallly loved it!

Tags: miscellaneous, sony, cute

Joke: Customer Service

2008-04-30T13:48:00.002+08:00

A really well-done funny vid, check it out!

http://www.callcentermovie.com/movie/F8MedKf150.swf

Tags: humor, customer service, joke

Joke: Lie Detecting Robot

2008-04-28T09:19:00.000+08:00

One day Kyle's dad brought home a robot. The robot was special in that it could detect a lie and would slap the person who lied on the face.

Kyle returned late from school that day and his dad asked him, "Son why are you late from school?"

Kyle answered, "Dad, we had extra classes today".

Much to his astonishment the robot jumped up and slapped Kyle on his face.

His dad told him, "Son this robot is special in that it can detect a Lie and will then slap the person who lied. Now come on tell me the truth.

Why are you late?"

"Dad, I went to a movie"

"Which movie?"

"The Ten Commandments"

Immediately, Kyle got a slap on the face from the robot.

"Sorry Dad, I went to see the movie Sex Queen".

"Shame on you son, when I was your age I never watched obscene movies or misbehaved" Immediately, the dad gets a tight slap on the face from the robot.

Hearing the last sentence, Kyle's mother comes walking out of the kitchen and sarcastically says to her husband, "After all he is YOUR son!!!"

To which the robot steps up and gives Kyle's mother a resounding slap on her face!

Tags: joke, humor, robot

Story: A Mother's Love

2008-04-25T10:36:00.000+08:00

A little boy came up to his mother in the kitchen one evening while she was fixing supper, and handed her a piece of paper that he had been writing on. After his Mom dried her hands on an apron, she read it, and this is what it said:

For cutting the grass: $5.00
For cleaning up my room this week: $1.00
For going to the store for you: $.50
Baby-sitting my kid brother while you went shopping: $.25
Taking out the garbage: $1.00
For getting a good report card: $5.00
For cleaning up and raking the yard: $2.00
Total owed: $14.75

Well, his mother looked at him standing there, and the boy could see the memories flashing through her mind. She picked up the pen, turned over the paper he'd written on, and this is what she wrote:

For the nine months I carried you while you were growing inside me: No Charge
For all the nights that I've sat up with you, doctored and prayed for you: No Charge
For all the trying times, and all the tears that you've caused through the years: No Charge
For all the nights that were filled with dread, and for the worries I knew were ahead: No Charge
For the toys, food, clothes, and even wiping your nose: No Charge
Son, when you add it up, the cost of my love is: No Charge

When the boy finished reading what his mother had written, there were big tears in his eyes, and he looked straight at his mother and said, "Mom, I sure do love you." And then he took the pen and in great big letters he wrote: "PAID IN FULL".

Lessons:
- You will never how much your parents worth till you become a parent
- Be a giver not an asker, especially with your parents. there is a lot to give, besides money.

Tags: story, motivational, mother

Miscellaneous: Close a Bag of Potato Chips

2008-04-22T16:04:00.002+08:00

Useful!

Tags: miscellaneous, bag, close

Joke: School

2008-04-20T12:30:00.000+08:00

A new group of first graders were in class for the first time.

The teacher told them, "You are in first grade now and we do not talk 'baby talk' in my classroom. When I point to you, stand, tell me your name, and something you did this summer."

The first child stood, "My name is Jackie, I visited my Nanny." The teacher said "That's great, but from now on we will say Grandmother. There is no 'baby talk' in the first grade."

The second child stood, "My name is Regina. I rode a choo choo this summer." The teacher replied, "That's good, but from now on we will say train. Remember, no 'baby talk' in first grade."

The third child stood, "My name is Frank and I read a book this summer." The teacher replied, "That's wonderful Frank! What book did you read?"

The little boy very proudly replied, "Winnie the Shit.

Tags: joke, humor, school

Health: About Green Potatoes

2008-04-17T17:50:00.005+08:00

Green = vegetables = good? Not when it comes to potatoes. Here's an important piece of information that my mother taught me years ago, but fewer and fewer people these days seem to know about. Green in potatoes indicates the presence of a rather harmful toxin. When you see patches of green in your potatoes as you peel them, cut out the green parts entirely and discard them. What is the green? Actually it's chlorophyll. Not bad for you at all. But the chlorophyll indicates that the potato has been exposed to sunlight. And where the potatoes has been exposed to light is where a natural toxin in the potato (solanine) becomes concentrated at harmful levels. So, never store your potatoes on the counter. Always keep them in a cool, completely dark place.

According to Wikipedia, deep-frying potatoes at high temperature (306oF) effectively lowers the level of toxins. But boiling them (212oF) has no effect. Best to stay on the safe side and just cut away the green parts. The NIH website mentions that the potato sprouts can also have concentrated solanine, so those too should never be eaten.

Tags: health, potato, hazard

Miscellaneous: Difference between http:// and https://

2008-02-22T21:14:00.002+08:00

Hello guys, it's been a while. Workload from sch's been murder, and there hasn't been much interesting emails received recently. This is just stuff FYI, good to know. Hope I can get some funny stuff to share soon. Cheers. =P - Espen

The S stands for "Secure".

If you visit a website or webpage with http://, this means that the website is linked to your computer using the normal unsecured manner. This means it is possible for someone to "eavesdrop" on your computer's data transmission with the website.

If you fill out a form on the website, someone might see the information you sent to that site. If a website ever asks you to enter your credit card information, you should check to see if the address begins with https://. If it doesn't, there's no way you're going to enter sensitive information like your credit card number!

Tags: miscellaneous, interesting, FYI

Miscellaneous: Cool Hologram

2008-01-24T19:14:00.000+08:00

It's some sort of hologram projected on a body of water at Odaiba generating a moving Loch Ness monster. It was a promotion for the film The Water Horse.

Tags:miscellaneous, hologram

Miscellaneous: Eye Test

2008-01-13T11:07:00.001+08:00

If you can't decipher anything, try pulling the corners of your eyes as if you were Chinese. It works.

Tags: miscellaneous, eye test

Miscellaneous: Clever Inventions

2007-12-25T09:17:00.000+08:00

Interesting, not sure if they're real, tsktsk. - Espen

Cup & Cookies

Smart cup in which you can put 2-3 of your favourite cookies. You don't need extra plates. It's made for right and left handed.

Banana Guard
Are you fed up with bringing bananas to work/school only to find them bruised and squashed? Banana Guard allows you to safely transport and store individual bananas letting you enjoy perfect bananas anytime, anywhere.

Lock Cup

Lock Cup - Anti Theft Coffee Cup. Are you tired of others stealing your coffee cup? Well now there's a solution. The Lock Cup has a hole which prevents most people from using it. Only the owner of the cup can use his/her shaped key to close the hole

Penguin Tea Timer

Making tea, though easy to do, is also time consuming. Once you pour hot water into the cup, you must patiently hover over it, waiting for the tea to steep. Well, the Penguin Tea Timer happily does the waiting for you. Place your tea cup under the beak and set it to the desired time. As you turn the timer dial, the beak lowers the tea into the hot water. When time is up, a bell sounds and the penguin automatically lifts his beak, removing the tea bag from the water.

Toilet Sit Lifter

"Who left the toilet seat up?" The PeaceMaker will end the battle of the toilet seat. Merely step on the pedal to activate the lifting mechanism. When finished, remove your foot from the pedal and the seat gently comes to a rest where it started.

Latest Design Waiter/Waitress Trays

Anatomic tray for waiters. No more dropping trays. We just don't know if it's comfortable.

Tags: miscellaneous, inventions

Joke: Birds and Bees Explained...

2007-12-13T11:39:00.000+08:00

An 8-year-old girl went to her dad, who was working in the yard. She asked him, "Daddy, what is sex?"

The father was surprised that she would ask such a question, but decides that if she is old enough to ask the question, then she is old enough to get a straight answer.

He proceeded to tell her all about the "birds and the bees." When he finished explaining, the little girl was looking at him with her mouth hanging open.

The father asked her, "Why did you ask this question?"

The little girl replied, "Mom told me to tell you that dinner would be ready in just a couple of secs."

Tags: humor, joke, birds and bees

Health: Choose Your Oil Wisely!

2007-12-06T21:10:00.000+08:00

Click on the image to view, it's too small here, hehe. - Espen

Tags: health, oil

Miscellaneous: Birthday Pests!!

2007-11-29T15:07:00.001+08:00

Look up your birthday and see what kind of pest you are!

Jan 01 - 09: Ass
Jan 10 - 24: Slug
Jan 25 - 31: Cockroach

Feb 01 - 05: Parasite
Feb 06 - 14: Bullfrog
Feb 15 - 21: Skunk
Feb 22 - 28: Snake

Mar 01 - 12: Ape
Mar 13 - 15: Cockroach
Mar 16 - 23: Slug
Mar 24 - 31: Parasite

Apr 01 - 03: Ass
Apr 04 - 14: Snake
Apr 15 - 26: Slug
Apr 27 - 30: Skunk

May 01 - 13: Slug
May 14 - 21: Bullfrog
May 22 - 31: Cockroach

June 01 - 03: Slug
June 04 - 14: Skunk
June 15 - 24: Ape
June 25 - 30: Parasite

July 01 - 09: Slug
July 10 - 15: Ass
July 16 - 26: Bullfrog
July 27 - 31: Parasite

Aug 01 - 15: Ape
Aug 16 - 25: Slug
Aug 26 - 31: Skunk

Sep 01 - 14: Bullfrog
Sep 15 - 27: Parasite
Sep 28 - 30: Ass

Oct 01 - 15: Ape
Oct 16 - 27: Skunk
Oct 28 - 31: Snake

Nov 01 - 16: Cockroach
Nov 17 - 30: Parasite

Dec 01 - 16: Ass
Dec 17 - 25: Ape
Dec 26 - 31: Bullfrog

If you are an Ass: A very loyal and sweet person. Your loyalty can never be doubted. You are quite honest and sincere when it comes to your attitude towards working. You are a very simple person, indeed. Absolutely hassle free, humble and down-to-earth! That explains the reason why your friends cling on to you! You have a good taste for clothes. If your wardrobe is not updated with what is trendy, you sure are depressed. Popular and easy-going. You have a little group of dignified friends, all of them being quality-personified.

If you are a Slug: Always up to some sort of a mischief! The mischievous gleam in your eyes is what makes you so cute and attractive to everyone. You are an extremely fun-to-be-with kind of person. No wonder people seek for your company and look forward to include you for all get-together's. However, you are sensitive which is a drawback. People need to select their words while talking to you. If someone tries to fiddle around and play with words while dealing with you, it is enough to invite your wrath. God bless the person then!

If you are a Cockroach: Quite contradictory to your name, you are a peace loving person. You try to avoid a situation wherein you are required to fight. An outdoor person, you dislike sitting at one place for a long duration. You are a born leader, and have it in you how to tactfully derive work from people. You love being loved, and when you receive your share of limelight from someone, you are all theirs!! Well, well... hence some people could even take an advantage, flatter you to the maximum and get their work done. So be careful...

If you are a Skunk: You are near to perfect and nice at heart. The examples of your kindness are always circulated in groups of people. You too, love peace. You wouldn't like to retaliate even to a person who is in the wrong. You are loved due to this. You do not wish to talk behind one's back. People love the way you always treat them. You can give, give and give love, and the best part is that you do not expect it ack in return. You are generous enough. Seeing things in a practical light is what the best trait of you guys remain.

If you are a Bullfrog: You symbolize a very happy-go-lucky approach in life. Whatever the surroundings may be, grim or cheerful, you remain unaffected. In fact, you spread cheer wherever you go. You are the leader of your group of friends and good at consoling people in their times of need. You dislike hypocrisy and tend to shirk away from hypocrites. They can never be in your good books, no matter what. You are very methodical and organized in your work. No amount of mess, hence, can every encompass you. Beware, it is easy for you to fall in love...

If you are a Snake: You are mysterious. You are someone who can handle pressure with ease, and can handle any atmostphere without going berserk. You can be mean at times, and love to gossip with your selected group. Very prim and proper. You like all situations and things to be in the way you desire, which, sometimes is not possible. As a result, you may lose out in some relationships. But otherwise, you love to help people out from difficult and tight spots when they really need you.

If you are an Ape: Very impatient and hyper!! You want things to be done as quickly as possible. At heart, you are quite simple and love if you are the center of attraction. That way, you people are unique.. You would like to keep yourself safe from all the angles. Shall your name be dragged or featured in any sort of a controversy, you then go all panicky. Therefore, you take your precautions from the very beginning. When you foresee anything wrong, our sixth sense is what saves you from falling in traps. Quite a money minded bunch you people are!

Tags: miscellaneous, personality, birthday

Joke: Fission or Fusion

2007-11-25T22:31:00.000+08:00

A stranger was seated next to a little girl on an airplane when he turned to her and said, "Let's talk. I've heard that flights go quicker if you strike up a conversation with your fellow passenger." The little girl, who had just opened her book, closed it slowly and said to the stranger, "What would you like to talk about?" Oh, I don't know", said the stranger. "How about nuclear power?"

"OK," she said.. "That could be an interesting topic. But let me ask you a question first. A horse, a cow, and a deer all eat grass yet a deer excretes little pellets, while a cow turns out a flat patty, and a horse produces clumps of dried grass. Why do you suppose that is?" The stranger thinks about it and says, "Hmmm, I have no idea,"

To which the little girl replies, "Do you really feel qualified to discuss nuclear power when you don't know shit?"

Tags:humor, joke, fission or fusion

Joke: Wife From Hell

2007-11-17T12:13:00.000+08:00

A police officer pulls over a speeding car. The officer says, " I clocked you at 80 miles per hour, sir."

The driver says, "Gee, officer I had it on cruise control at 60, perhaps your radar gun needs calibrating."

Not looking up from her knitting the wife says: "Now don't be silly dear, you know that this car doesn't have cruise control."

As the officer writes out the ticket, the driver looks over at his wife and growls, "Can't you please keep your mouth shut for once?"

The wife smiles demurely and says, "You should be thankful your radar detector went off when it did."

As the officer makes out the second ticket for the illegal radar detector unit, the man glowers at his wife and says through clenched teeth, "Damit, woman, can't you keep your mouth shut?"

The officer frowns and says, "And I notice that you're not wearing your seat belt, sir. That's an automatic $75 fine."

The driver says, "Yeah, well, you see officer, I had it on, but took it off when you pulled me over so that I could get my license out of my back pocket."

The wife says, "Now, dear, you know very well that you didn't have your seat belt on. You never wear your seat belt when you're driving."

And as the pol ice officer is writing out the third ticket the driver turns to h is wife and barks, "WHY DON'T YOU PLEASE SHUT UP??"

The officer looks over at the woman and asks, "Does your husband always talk to you this way, Ma'am?"

"Only when he's been drinking."

Technorati tags humor, joke, wife

Joke: Mechanical Problems

2007-11-10T14:33:00.000+08:00

After every flight, pilots fill out a form called a gripe sheet, which conveys to the mechanics problems encountered with the aircraft during the flight that need repair or correction. The mechanics read and correct the problem, and then respond in writing on the lower half of the form what remedial action was taken, and the pilot reviews the gripe sheets before the next flight. Never let it be said that ground crews and engineers lack a sense of humor.

Here are some actual logged maintenance complaints and problems as submitted by Qantas pilots and the solution recorded by maintenance engineers.

Note: Qantas is the only major airline that has never had a major accident.

P = The problem logged by the pilot
S = The solution and action taken by the maintenance people.

P: Left inside main tire almost needs replacement.
S: Almost replaced left inside main tire.

P: Test flight OK, except auto-land very rough.
S: Auto-land not installed on this aircraft.

P: Something loose in cockpit.
S: Something tightened in cockpit.

P: Dead bugs on windshield.
S: Live bugs on back-order.

P: Autopilot in altitude-hold mode produces a 200 feet per minute descent.
S: Cannot reproduce problem on ground.

P: Evidence of leak on right main landing gear.

S: Evidence removed.

P: DME volume unbelievably loud.
S: DME volume set to more believable level.

P: Friction locks cause throttle levers to stick.
S: That's what they're there for.

P: IFF inoperative.
S: IFF always inoperative in OFF mode.

P: Suspected crack in windshield.
S: Suspect you're right.

P: Number 3 engine missing.
S: Engine found on right wing after brief search.

P: Aircraft handles funny.
S: Aircraft warned to straighten up, fly right, and be serious.

P: Target radar hums.
S: Reprogrammed target radar with lyrics.

P: Mouse in cockpit.
S: Cat installed.

P: Noise coming from under instrument panel. Sounds like a midget pounding on something with a hammer.
S: Took hammer away from midget.

Technorati tags:humor, joke, mechanical problems

New Link: The Hunger Site

2007-11-03T15:18:00.000+08:00

Hi ppl, I've just added a link on the left side navigation bar to The Hunger Site eh. While you're here having a laugh reading up jokes on Gramp's Place, do take some time out to click the link on The Hunger Site to help feed the poor. Let's help the needy!

Technorati tags:hunger, miscellaneous

Miscellaneous: Wind?

2007-10-29T02:17:00.000+08:00

Heh, received this interesting video link from a friend. Check it out, see what you think of it :) - Espen

Technorati tags:miscellaneous, hamaca firmat, spooky

Miscellaneous: Why Should the Wedding Ring Be Worn on the 4th Finger?

2007-10-22T16:16:00.001+08:00

Apologies for the poor English in this blog entry. The email was poorly translated from Chinese and I tried my best to minimise corrections in case I watered-down the meaning even further. Quite interesting. =) - Espen

1. Firstly, show your palm, center finger bent inwards and put your hands together palm-to-palm, the middle finger back-to-back.

2. Secondly, place the other 4 fingers tip to tip.

3. Before following the instructions, take note that only 1 pair of fingers can split at each step.

4. Try separating your thumbs. The thumb represents your parents and they can separate because all humans eventually fall ill and die. Our parents will leave us one day.

5. Join your thumbs again. Separate your index fingers. The index finger represents your siblings and they too will leave us one day when they have their own families.

6. Join your index fingers. Next, open your little finger. It represents your children. Sooner or later, they will leave us when they have their own lives.

7. Now, join your little fingers. Now, try separating your fourth finger where the wedding ring is worn. You will find that it is difficult or cannot be separated at all. The fourth finger represents husband and wife, who will remain attached to each other for their whole lives.

8. In summary, the thumb represents your parents, the index finger represents your siblings, the middle finger represents yourself, the last finger represents your children and the fourth finger represents your partner.

Technorati tags:miscellaneous, life, wedding ring

Joke: Confusing English

2007-10-09T14:12:00.000+08:00

1. If Fed Ex and UPS were to merge, would they call it Fed UP?

2. Do Lipton Tea employees take coffee breaks?

3. If olive oil comes from olives, where does baby oil come from?

4. If people from Poland are called Poles, why aren't people from Holland called Holes?

5. Do infants enjoy infancy as much as adults enjoy adultery?

6. Why the man who invests all your money called a broker?

7. If horrific means to make horrible, does terrific mean to Make terrible?

8. Why is it called building when it is already built?

9. If a book about failures doesn't sell, is it a success?

10. If you're not supposed to drink and drive, then why do Bars have parking lots?

11. If you take an Oriental person and spin him around Several times, does he become disoriented?

12. If vegetarians eat vegetables, what do humanitarians eat? Human ?!?

13 . If working hours are meant for working, then why are you reading this?!?

Get back to WORK !

Technorati tags:humor, funny, english

Miscellaneous: Left Brain vs Right Brain

2007-10-02T14:51:00.000+08:00

Do you see the dancer turning clockwise or anti-clockwise? Most of us would see the dancer turning anti-clockwise though you can try to focus and change the direction. See if you can do it. (I noticed the image doesn't move, pls click the image to go into another window with just the picture *wink*)

LEFT BRAIN FUNCTIONS vs RIGHT BRAIN FUNCTIONS

- uses logic / uses feeling
- detail oriented / 'big picture' oriented
- facts rule / imagination rules
- words and language / symbols and images
- present and past / present and future
- math and science / philosophy & religion
- can comprehend / can 'get it' (i.e. meaning)
- knowing / believes
- acknowledges / appreciates
- order or pattern perception / spatial perception
- knows object name / knows object function
- reality based / fantasy based
- forms strategies / presents possibilities
- practical / impetuous
- safe / risk taking

Technorati tags:miscellaneous , left brain, right brain, brain

Joke: Type of Girls

2007-09-23T12:24:00.000+08:00

HARD DISK GIRLS: She remembers everything, FOREVER

RAM GIRLS: She forget about you, the moment turn her off

WINDOW GIRLS: everyone know that she can't do a thing right, but no one can live without her.

SCREENSAVER GIRLS: She is good for nothing but at least she is fun

INTERNET GIRLS: Difficult to access

SERVER GIRLS: Always busy when you need her.

MULTIMEDIA GIRLS: She make horrible thing look beautiful

CD-ROM GIRLS: She is always faster and faster.

EMAIL GIRLS: Every ten things she says, eight are nonsense

VIRUS GIRLS: Also known as "wife'' when you are not expecting her, she comes, install herself and uses all your resources. If you try to uninstallher you will lose something, if don't try you uninstall her you willlose everything...

Technorati tags: humor, funny, girls

Joke: Wise Old Man

2007-09-18T16:52:00.000+08:00

A wise old man retired and purchased a modest home near a junior high school. He spent the first few weeks of his retirement in peace and contentment. Then a new school year began.

The very next afternoon three young boys, full of youthful, after-school enthusiasm, came down his street, beating merrily on every trash can they encountered.

The crashing percussion continued day after day, until finally the wise old man decided it was time to take some action.

The next afternoon, he walked out to meet the young percussionists as they banged their way down the street. Stopping them, he said, "You kids are a lot of fun. I like to see you express your exuberance like that. In fact, I used to do the same thing when I was your age. Will you do me a favor? I'll give you each a dollar if you'll promise to come around every day and do your thing." The kids were elated and continued to do a bang-up job on the trashcans.

After a few days, the old-timer greeted the kids again, but this time he had a sad smile on his face. "This recession's really putting a big dent in my income," he told them. "From now on, I'll only be able to pay you 50 cents to beat on the cans."

The noisemakers were obviously displeased, but they accepted his offer and they continued their afternoon ruckus. A few days later, the wily retiree approached them again as they drummed their way down the street.

"Look," he said, "I haven't received my Social Security check yet, so I'm not going to be able to give you more than 25 cents. Will that be okay?"

"A lousy quarter?" the drum leader exclaimed. "If you think we're going to waste our time, beating these cans around for a quarter, you're nuts! No way, mister. We quit!" And the old man enjoyed peace and serenity for the rest of his days.

Technorati tags: joke, humor, wise old man

Miscellaneous: Toilets of the World

2007-09-16T13:24:00.000+08:00

Toilets of Florence

Toilets of New York

Toilets of Japan

Vatican toilets

Toilet for Musicians

Technorati tags:miscellaneous, toilet, funny

Miscellaneous: How To Remove Stuck Cork in Bottle

2007-09-10T16:11:00.000+08:00

Hi all, just to reassure you guys that I wasn't kidnapped... Thanks Erica for your concern.. lol... been just rather stressed out by my studies and there wasn't many interesting emails I received which I thought worth sharing and thus, I went MIA for quite a while. Well, here's a rather interesting video teaching us how to remove a stuck cork in a wine bottle.. Check it out =P - Espen

Technorati tags:miscellaneous, cork, bottle

Joke: FBI Interview Process

2007-08-22T19:14:00.000+08:00

The FBI had an opening for an assassin. After all the background checks, interviews, and testing were done there were 3 finalists. Two men and a woman.

For the final test, the FBI agents took one of the men to a large metal door and handed him a gun. "We must know that you will follow your instructions no matter what the circumstances. Inside the room you will find your wife sitting in a chair. Kill her!"

The man said, "You can't be serious, I could never shoot my wife." The agent said, "Then you're not the right man for this job. Take your wife and go home."

The second man was given the same instructions. He took the gun and went into the room. All was quiet for about 5 minutes. The man came out with tears in his eyes, "I tried, but I can't kill my wife."

The agent said, "You don't have what it takes. Take your wife and go home." Finally, it was the woman's turn. She was given the same instructions, to kill her husband. She took the gun and went into the room. Shots were heard, one after another. They heard screaming, crashing, banging on the walls. After a few minutes, all was quiet. The door opened slowly and there stood the woman.

She wiped the sweat from her brow. "This gun was loaded with blanks," she said. "I had to beat him to death with the chair."

Technorati tags:humor, funny, FBI

Miscellaneous: Horoscope

2007-08-16T19:39:00.000+08:00

Virgo - The Perfectionist
Dominant in relationships. Conservative. Always wants the last word. Argumentative. Worries. Very smart. Dislikes noise and chaos. Eager. Hardworking. Loyal. Beautiful. Easy to talk to. Hard to please. Harsh. Practical and very fussy. Often shy. Pessimistic.

Scorpio - The Intense One
Very energetic. Intelligent. Can be jealous and/or possessive. Hardworking. Great kisser. Can become obsessive or secretive. Holds grudges. Attractive. Determined. Loves being in long relationships. Talkative. Romantic. Can be self-centered at times. Passionate and Emotional.

Libra - The Harmonizer
Nice to everyone they meet. Can't make up their mind. Have own unique appeal. Creative, energetic, and very social. Hates to be alone. Peaceful, generous. Very loving and beautiful. Flirtatious. Give in too easily. Procrastinators. Very gullible.

Aries – The Daredevil
Energetic. Adventurous and spontaneous. Confident and enthusiastic. Fun. Loves a challenge. EXTREMELY impatient. Sometimes selfish. Short fuse. (easily angered.) Lively, passionate, and sharp wit. Outgoing. Lose interest quickly - easily bored. Egotistical. Courageous and assertive. Tends to be physical and athletic.

Aquarius - The Sweetheart
Optimistic and honest. Sweet personality. Very independent. Inventive and intelligent. Friendly and loyal. Can seem unemotional. Can be a bit rebellious. Very stubborn, but original and unique. Attractive on the inside and out. Eccentric personality.

Gemini - The Chatterbox
Smart and witty. Outgoing, very chatty. Lively, energetic. Adaptable but needs to express themselves. Argumentative and outspoken. Likes change. Versatile. Busy, sometimes nervous and tense. Gossips. May seem superficial or inconsistent, but is only changeable. Beautiful physically and mentally.

Leo - The Boss
Very organized. Need order in their lives - like being in control. Like boundaries. Tend to take over everything. Bossy. Like to help others. Social and outgoing. Extroverted. Generous, warm-hearted. Sensitive. Creative energy. Full of themselves. Loving. Doing the right thing is important to Leos. Attractive.

Cancer - The Protector
Moody, emotional. May be shy. Very loving and caring. Pretty/handsome. Excellent partners for life. Protective. Inventive and imaginative. Cautious. Touchy-feely kind of person. Needs love from others. Easily hurt, but sympathetic.

Pisces - The Dreamer
Generous, kind, and thoughtful. Very creative and imaginative. May become secretive and vague. Sensitive. Don't like details. Dreamy and unrealistic. Sympathetic and loving. Kind. Unselfish. Good kisser. Beautiful.

Capricorn - The Go-Getter
Patient and wise. Practical and rigid. Ambitious. Tends to be good-looking. Humorous and funny. Can be a bit shy and reserved. Often pessimists. Capricorns tend to act before they think and can be unfriendly at times. Hold grudges. Like competition. Get what they want.

Taurus - The Enduring One
Charming but aggressive. Can come off as boring, but they are not. Hard workers. Warm-hearted. Strong, has endurance. Solid beings who are stable and secure in their ways. Not looking for shortcuts. Take pride in their beauty. Patient and reliable. Make great friends and give good advice. Loving and kind. Loves hard - passionate. Express themselves emotionally. Prone to ferocious temper-tantrums. Determined. Indulge themselves often. Very generous.

Sagittarius - The Happy-Go-Lucky One Good-natured optimist. Doesn't want to grow up (Peter Pan Syndrome). Indulges self. Boastful. Likes luxuries and gambling. Social and outgoing. Doesn't like responsibilities. Often fantasizes. Impatient. Fun to be around. Having lots of friends. Flirtatious. Doesn't like rules. Sometimes hypocritical. Dislikes being confined - tight spaces or even tight clothes. Doesn't like being doubted. Beautiful inside and out.

Technorati tags: miscellaneous, horoscope

Health: Drinking Hot Water Could Save Your Life

2007-08-15T12:05:00.000+08:00

This is a very good article. Not only about the warm water after your meal, but about heart attacks. The Chinese and Japanese drink hot tea with their meals, not cold water, maybe it is time we adopt their drinking habit while eating.

For those who like to drink cold water, this article is applicable to you. It is nice to have a cup of cold drink after a meal. However, the cold water will solidify the oily stuff that you have just consumed. It will slow down the digestion. Once this "sludge" reacts with the acid, it will break down and be absorbed by the intestine faster than the solid food. It will line the intestine. Very soon, this will turn into fats and lead to cancer. It is best to drink hot soup or warm water after a meal.

A serious note about heart attacks - you should know that not every heart attack symptom is going to be left arm hurting. Be aware of intense pain in the jaw line.

You may never have the first chest pain during the course of a heart attack. Nausea and intense sweating are also common symptoms. 60% of people who have a heart attack while they are asleep do not wake up. Pain in the jaw can wake you up from a sound sleep. Let's be careful and be aware. The more we know, he better chance we could survive.

Technorati tags:health, water, meal

Joke: Have a Laugh...

2007-08-12T18:27:00.000+08:00

Only in America... do drugstores make the sick walk all the way to the back of the store to get their prescriptions while healthy people can buy cigarettes at the front.

Only in America... do people order double cheeseburger, large fries and a diet coke.

Only in America... do banks leave both doors open and then chain the pens to the counters.

Only in America... do we leave cars worth thousands of dollars in the driveway and put our useless junk in the garage.

Only in America... do we buy hot dogs in packages of ten and buns in packages of eight.

Only in America... do we use the word 'politics' to describe the process so well: 'Poli' in Latin meaning 'many' and 'tics' meaning 'bloodsucking creatures'.

Only in America... do they have drive-up ATM machines with Braille lettering.

Ever wonder...

Why the sun lightens our hair, but darkens our skin?

Why women can't put on mascara with their mouth closed?

Why don't you ever see the headline "Psychic wins Lottery"?

Why is "abbreviated" such a long word?

Why is it that doctors call what they do "practice"?

Why is lemon juice made with artificial flavor, and dishwashing liquid made with real lemons?

Why is the man who invests all your money called a broker?

Why is the time of day with the slowest traffic called rush hour?

Why isn't there mouse-flavored cat food?

Why didn't Noah swat those two mosquitoes?

Why do they sterilize the needle for lethal injections?

You know that indestructible black box that is used on airplanes? Why don't they make the whole plane out of that stuff?!

Why don't sheep shrink when it rains?

Why are they called apartments when they are all stuck together?

If con is the opposite of pro, is congress the opposite of progress?

If flying is so safe, why do they call the airport the terminal?

Now that you've smiled at least once, it's your turn to spread the stupidity and send this to someone you want to bring a smile to (maybe even a chuckle)... in other words, send it to everyone. We all need to smile every once in a while.

Technorati tags:humor, funny

Miscellaneous: Left or Right Brain

2007-08-04T13:52:00.001+08:00

Apologies for the poor language in this article eh, I didn't wana mess with it too much and change its meaning =P - Espen

First, identify yourself as right or left brain person:

1. Hold your hands together, as if you were praying. Look at your hands. If you see:
Left thumb is below the right thumb --> left brain
Right thumb is below the left thumb --> right brain

2. Fold your arms in front of you (as if you were angry):
Right arm above left arm --> left brain
Left arm above right arm --> right brain

Based on 1+2 (order important), below is the interpretation of your personality:

Right-left
Considerate, traditional, indirect type. Can instinctively read other's emotion, and respond friendly by nature. Although not very into taking initiatives in moving forward, but this person will always take a step back in supporting others. Stable personality and considerate, give others a being-protected feeling. But the weakness is they cannot say no, regardsless of how unwilling they are, they will take care of others.

Right-right
Loves challenges type, straightforward. Once they decided on one thing, will take action right away. Very curious, and loves challenges. Dare to face dangers without thinking through (sometimes foolishly). Their weakness is they don't listen to others, will filter in only what they want to hear in a conversation, and very subjective. However, because of their straightforward attitude, they tend to be fairly popular.

Left-left
Dedicated, cold, perfectionist. Very logical in all aspects. The only way to defeat (or win over) him/her is through reasons. Has a lot of pride, and feelings strongly about doing the right thing. If they are your friends, they are very trustworthy. However, if they are your opponents, they will be very tough to deal with. Because they can be very "anal" as a perfectionist, they usually leave a bad impression of being hard to deal with when first met.

Left-right
Likes to take care of others, leader type. Has a cool and keen observation ability to see through situations, yet still can be considerate to others' needs. Because of their cool and calm nature, and strong sense of responsibility, they tend to become head of a group. Popular among people. However, they may not be able to help themselves in meddling because they want to take care of others too much. Very concerned about how others view them, and always on alert.

Technorati tags: miscellaneous, personality, brain

Health: Eye Care "20-20-20"

2007-07-30T13:23:00.000+08:00

During a recent visit to an optician, one of my friends was told of an exercise for the eyes by a specialist doctor in the US that he termed as "20-20-20". It is apt for all of us, who spend long hours at our desks, looking at the computer screen.

I thought I'd share it with you.

Step 1: After every 20 minutes of looking into a computer screen, turn your head and try to look at any object placed 20 feet away. This changes the focal length of your eyes, a must-do for the tired eyes.

Step 2: Try and blink your eyes for 20 times in succession, to moisten them.

Step 3: Time permitting of course, one should walk 20 paces after every 20 minutes of sitting in one particular posture. Helps blood circulation for the entire body.

Circulate among your friends if you care for them and their eyes. They say that your eyes are mirror of your soul, so do take care of them, they are priceless...

Technorati tags:health, eyes

Miscellaneous: Don't Break The Elastic!

2007-07-23T02:15:00.001+08:00

In April, Maya Angelou was interviewed by Oprah on her 70+ birthday. Oprah asked her what she thought of growing older.

And, there on television, she said it was "exciting". Regarding body changes, she said there were many, occurring every day... like her breasts. They seem to be in a race to see which will reach her waist, first.

The audience laughed so hard they cried. She is such a simple and honest woman, with so much wisdom in her words!

Maya Angelou said this:

"I've learned that no matter what happens, or how bad it seems today, life does go on, and it will be better tomorrow."

"I've learned that you can tell a lot about a person by the way he/she handles these three things: a rainy day, lost luggage, and a tangled Christmas tree lights."

"I've learned that regardless of your relationship with your parents, you'll miss them when they're gone from your life."

"I've learned that making a 'living' is not the same thing as 'making a life'."

"I've learned that life sometimes gives you a second chance."

"I've learned that you shouldn't go through life with a catcher's mitt on both hands; you need to be able to throw some things back."

"I've learned that whenever I decide something with an open heart, I usually make the right decision."

"I've learned that even when I have pains, I don't have to be one."

"I've learned that every day you should reach out and touch someone. People love a warm hug, or just a friendly pat on the back."

"I've learned that I still have a lot to learn."

"I've learned that people will forget what you said, people will forget what you did, but people will never forget how you made them feel."

Please send this to five phenomenal women today.

If you do, something good will happen: You will boost another woman's self-esteem.

If you don't... the elastic will break and your underpants will fall down around your ankles! Believe me, I didn't take any chances on MY elastic breaking... I sent it to a lot of special women I care for.

Technorati tags:miscellaneous, motivational, Maya Angelou

Miscellaneous: Nice Thoughts

2007-07-12T11:02:00.000+08:00

When I was born, I was so surprised
I didn't talk for a year and a half.
- Gracie Allen (1906-1964)

Choose your friends by their character and your socks by their colour. Choosing your socks by their character makes no sense, and choosing your friends by their colour is unthinkable.

The only thing worth stealing is a kiss from a sleeping child.
- Joe Houldsworth

There are two ways of meeting difficulties: You alter the difficulties, or you alter yourself to meet them.
- Phyllis Bottome

There's no point in being grown up if you can't be childish sometimes.
- Doctor Who

I am careful not to confuse excellence with perfection. Excellence, I can reach for, perfection is God's business.
- Michael J. Fox

When you are content to be simply yourself and don't compare or compete, everybody will respect you.
- Lao-Tzu

You don't stop laughing because you grow old.
You grow old because you stop laughing.
- Michael Pritchard

Technorati tags:miscellaneous, quotes, thoughts

Miscellaneous: Word Power

2007-07-05T10:05:00.000+08:00

See if you can figure out what these words have in common...

Banana
Dresser
Grammar
Potato
Revive
Uneven
Assess

Are you peeking or have you already given up? Give it another try... You'll kick yourself when you discover the answer. Go back and look at them again, think hard. Ok... Here you go... Hope you didn't cheat. This is cool.

Ans: In all of the words listed, if you take the first letter, place it at the end of the word, and then spell the word backwards, it will be the same word. Did you figure it out?

Technorati tags:miscellaneous, word power, fun

Health: It's Good For Us To Know

2007-06-30T18:29:00.001+08:00

Keep walking...

The organs of your body have their sensory touches at the bottom of your feet. If you massage these points you will relief from aches and pains as you can see the organs are on right and left foot, the heart is on the left foot. The nerves from the organs terminate here.

Technorati tags:health, acupuncture, walk

Joke: Have A Good Laugh...

2007-06-26T00:40:00.000+08:00

They Say Men Don't Listen...

Mark, a loving husband, was in trouble. He forgot his wedding anniversary and his wife was really ticked off at him. She told him, "Tomorrow morning, I expect to find a gift in the driveway that goes from 0 to 200 in under 6 seconds, AND IT BETTER BE THERE."

The next morning, Mark got up really early before work. When his wife woke up a couple of hours later, she looked out the window, and sure enough, there was a small gift-wrapped box sitting in the middle of the driveway. Confused, the wife put on her robe, ran out to the driveway, and took the box into the house.

She opened it, and found a brand new bathroom scale.

Mark is not yet well enough to have visitors...

State Trooper

A Utah State Trooper was running radar. He had a perfect spot to watch for speeders, but was not getting any. Then he discovered the problem. A 12-year-old boy was standing up the road with a hand-painted sign that read "RADAR TRAP AHEAD!" The officer later found a young accomplice, on down the road, with a sign reading, "TIPS" and a bucket full of money. (And we used to just sell lemonade!)

Better

A motorist was mailed a picture of his car speeding through an automated radar post. A $40 speeding ticket was included. Being cute, he sent the police department a picture of $40. The police responded with another mailed photo of handcuffs.

Best

A young woman was pulled over for speeding. As the Trooper walked to her car window, flipping open his ticket book, she said, "I bet you are going to sell me a ticket to the Utah State Troopers Ball." He replied, "Utah State Troopers don't have balls." There was a moment of silence while she smiled and he realized what he had just said. He then closed his book, got back in his patrol car and left. She was laughing too hard to start her car.

Technorati tags: humor, jokes, trooper

Miscellaneous: World's Fastest Secretary

2007-06-22T13:23:00.000+08:00

o.O - Espen

Technorati tags:miscellaneous, secretary, fastest

Health: 26 Healthiest Foods on the Planet - Part III

2007-06-18T02:03:00.000+08:00

Here's the final instalment, cheers. - Espen

20. Quinoa
The Power: A half cup of cooked quinoa has 5 grams of protein, more than any other grain, plus iron, riboflavin and magnesium. A half-cup has 318 calories, 5 grams of fat and 5 grams of fiber. Add to soup for a protein boost. Rinse first, or it will taste bitter.

21. Wheat Germ
The Power: A tablespoon gives you about 7 percent of your daily magnesium, which helps prevent muscle cramps; it is also a good source of vitamin E. One tablespoon has 27 calories, 1 gram of fat and 1 gram of fiber. Sprinkle some over yogurt, fruit or cereal.

22. Lentils
The Power: Isoflavones, which may inhibit estrogen-promoted breast cancers, plus fiber for heart health and an impressive 9 grams of protein per half cup. A half-cup (cooked) has 115 calories, 0 fat and 8 grams of fiber. Isoflavones hold up through processing, so buy lentils canned, dried or already in soup. Take them to work, and you will have a protein packed lunch.

23. Peanuts
The Power: Studies show that peanuts or other nuts (which contain mostly unsaturated "good" fat) can lower your heart-disease risk by over 20%. One ounce has 166 calories, 14 grams of fat and 2 grams of fiber. Keep a packet in your briefcase, gym bag or purse for a protein-packed post-workout nosh or an afternoon pick me up that will satisfy you until supper, or chop a few into a stir-fry for a Thai accent.

24. Pinto Beans
The Power: A half-cup has more than 25% of your daily requirement of folate, which helps protect against heart disease and reduces the risk of birth defects. A half-cup (canned) has 103 calories, 1 gram of fat and 6 grams of fiber. Drain a can, rinse and toss into a pot of vegetarian chilli.

25. Low fat yogurt
The Power: Bacteria in active-culture yogurt helps prevent yeast infections; calcium strengthens bones. A cup has 155 calories, 4 grams of fat and 0 gram of fiber. Get the plain kind and mix in your own fruit to keep calories and sugar down. If you are lactose intolerant, never fear - yogurt should not bother your tummy.

26. Skim Milk
The Power: Riboflavin (aka vitamin B2) is important for good vision and along with vitamin A might help improve eczema and allergies. Plus, you get calcium and vitamin D too. One cup has 86 calories, 0 fat and 0 fiber. If you are used to high fat milk, don't go cold turkey; instead, mix the two together at first. Trust this fact: in a week or two, you won't miss it!

Technorati tags:health, healthy, food

Health: 26 Healthiest Foods on the Planet - Part II

2007-06-11T21:13:00.000+08:00

Here's part II of the instalment, which introduces 9 vegetables... - Espen

11. Onions
The Power: Quercetin is one of themost powerful flavonoids (natural plant antioxidants). Studies show it helps protect against cancer. A cup (chopped) has 61 calories, 0 fat and 3 grams of fiber. Chop onions for the maximum phyto-nutrient boost, of if you hate to cry, roast them with a little olive oil and serve with rice or other vegetables.

12. Artichokes
The Power: These odd-looking vegetables contain silymarin, an antioxidant that helps prevent skin cancer, plus fiber to help control cholesterol. One medium artichoke has 60 calories, 0 fat and 7 grams of fiber. Steam over boiling water for 30 to 40 minutes. Squeeze lemon juice on top, then pluck the leaves off with your fingers and use your teeth to scrape off the rich-tasting skin. When you get to the heart, you have found the best part!

13. Ginger
The Power: Gingerols may help reduce queasiness; other compounds may help ward off migraines and arthritis pain by blocking inflammation-causing prostaglandins. A teaspoon of fresh gingerroot has only 1 calorie, 0 fat and 0 fiber. Peel the tough brown skin and slice or grate into a stir-fry.

14. Broccoli
The Power: Indole-3-carbinol and sulforaphane, which help protect against breast cancer. Broccoli also has lots of vitamin C and beta-carotene. One cup (chopped) has 25 calories, 0 fat and 3 grams of fiber. Don't overcook broccoli - instead, microwave or steam lightly to preserve phytonutrients. Squeeze fresh lemon on top for a zesty and taset, added nutrients and some vitamin C.

15. Spinach
The Power: Lutein and zeaxanthin, carotenoids that help fend off macular degeneration, a major cause of blindness in older people. Plus, studies show this green fountain of youth may help reverse some signs of aging. One cup has 7 calories, 0 fat and 1 gram of fiber. Add raw leaves to a salad or saute with a little olive oil and garlic.

16. Bok Choy (Chinese cabbage)
The Power: Brassinin, which some research suggests may help prevent breast tumors, plus indoles and isothiocyanates, which lower levels of estrogen, make this vegetable a double-barreled weapon against breast cancer. A cup will give you 158mg of calcium (16% of your daily recommended requirement) to help beat osteoporosis. A cup (cooked) has 20 calories, 0 fat and 3 grams of fiber. Find it in your grocer's produce section or an Asian market. Slice the greens and juicy white stalks, then saute like spinach or toss into a stir-fry just before serving.

17. Squash (Butternut, Pumpkin, Acorn)
The Power: Winter squash has huge amounts of vitamin C and beta-carotene, which may help protect against endometrial cancer. One cup (cooked) has 80 calories, 1 gram of fat and 6 grams of fiber. Cut on in half, scoop out the seeds and bake or microwave until soft, then dust with cinnamon.

18. Watercress and Arugula
The Power: Phenethyl isothiocyanate, which, along with beta-carotene and vitamins C and E, may help keep cancer cells at bay. One cup has around 4 calories, 0 fat and 1 gram of fiber. Do not cook these leafy greens; instead, use them to garnish a sandwich or add a pungent, peppery taste to salad.

19. Garlic
The Power: The sulfur compounds that give garlic its pungent flavour can also lower LDL ("bad") cholesterol, lower blood pressure and even reduce your risk of stomach and colon cancer. A clove has 4 calories, 0 fat and 0 fiber. Bake a whole head for 15 to 20 minutes, until soft and sweet and spread on brea dinstead of butter.

Health: 26 Healthiest Foods on the Planet - Part I

2007-06-05T22:23:00.000+08:00

Here's the first instalment of a 3-part series of the healthiest foods on the planet. Cheers to good health =) - Espen

The following is a "healthy food hot list" consisting of the 29 food that will give you the biggest nutritional bang for you caloric buck, as well as decrease your risk for deadly illnesses like cancer, diabetes and heart disease. Along with each description is a suggestion as to how to incorporate these power-foods into your diet.

1. Apricots
The Power: Beta-carotene, which helps prevent free-radical damage and protect the eyes. The body also turns beta-carotene into vitamin A, which may help ward off some cancers, especially of the skin. One apricot has 17 calories, 0 fat, 1 gram of fiber. Snacks of them dried, or if you prefer fresh, buy when still firm; once they soften, they lose nutrients.

2. Avocados
The Power: Oleic acid, an unsaturated fat that helps lower overall cholesterol and raise levels of HDL, plus a good dose of fiber. One slice has 81 calories, 8 grams of fat and 3 grams of fiber. Try a few slices instead of mayonnaise to dress up your next burger.

3. Raspberries
The Power: Ellagic acid, which helps stall cancer-cell growth. These berries are also packed with vitamin C and are high in fiber, which helps prevent high cholesterol and heart disease. A cup has only 60 calories, 1 gram of fat and 8 grams of fiber. Top plain low-fat yogurt or oatmeal (another high fiber food) with fresh berries.

4. Mango
The Power: A medium mango packs 57mg of vitamin C, almost your whole-recommended daily dose. This antioxidant helps prevent arthritis and boosts wound healing and your immune system. Mangoes also boast more than 8,000 IU of vitamin A (as beta-carotene). One mango has 135 calories, 1 gram of fat and 4 grams of fiber. Cut on up and serve it over leafy greens. Bonus: Your salad will taste like dessert!

5. Cantaloupe
The Power: Vitamin C (117 mg in half a melon, almost twice the recommended daily dose) and beta-carotene - both powerful antioxidants that help protect cells from free-radical damage. Plus, half a melon has 853mg of potassium - almost twice as much as a banana, which helps lower blood pressure. Half a melon has 97 calories, 1 gram of fat and 2 grams of fiber. Cut into cubes and freeze, then blend into an icy smoothie.

6. Cranberry juice
The Power: Helps fight bladder infections by preventing harmful bacteria from growing. A cup has 144 calories, 0 grams of fat and 0 fiber. Buy 100% juice concentrate and use it to spice up your daily H2O without adding sugar.

7. Tomato
The Power: Lycopene, one of the strongest carotenoids, acts as an antioxidant. Research shows that tomatoes may cut the risk of bladder, stomach and colon cancers in half if eaten daily. A tomato has 26 calories, 0 fat and 1 gram of fiber. Drizzle fresh slices with olive oil, because lycopene is best absorbed when eaten with a little fat.

8. Raisins
The Power: These little gems are a great source of iron, which helps the blood transport oxygen and which many women are short on. A half-cup has 218 calories, 0 fat and 3 grams of fiber. Sprinkle raisins on your morning oatmeal or bran cereal - women, consider this especially during your period.

9. Figs
The Power: A good source of potassium and fiber, figs also contain vitamin B6, which is responsible for producing mood-boosting serotonin, lowering cholesterol and preventing water retention. The Pill depletes B6, so if you use this method of birth control, make sure to get extra B6 in your diet. One fig has 37 to 48 calories, 0 fat and 2 grams of fier. (Cookie lovers - fig bars have around 56 calories, 1 gram of fat and 1 gram of fiber per cookie). Fresh figs are delicious simmered alongside a pork tenderloin and the dried variety make a great portable gym snack.

10. Lemons
The Power: Limonede, furocoumarins and vitamin C, all of which help prevent cancer. A wedge has 2 calories, 0 fat and 0 fiber. Buy a few and squeeze over salads, fish, beans and vegetables for fat free flavour.

Technorati tags: health, food

Joke: Bush puts his foot in it, again...

2007-06-03T14:25:00.000+08:00

Air Force One arrives at Heathrow and President Bush strides to a warm and dignified reception from the Queen.

They are driven in a 1934 Bentley to the edge of central London where they change to a magnificent 17th century carriage hitched to six white horses. They continue on towards Buckingham Palace waving to the thousands of cheering Britons; all is going well.

Suddenly the right rear horse lets fly with the most horrendous earth-shattering fart ever heard in the British Empire.

The smell is atrocious!

Both passengers in the carriage must use handkerchiefs over their noses. The fart shakes the coach but the two dignitaries of state do their best to ignore the incident.

The Queen turns to President Bush, "Mr. President, please accept my regrets. I am sure you understand there are some things that even a queen cannot control."

George Bush, always trying to be presidential, replies, "Your Majesty, do not give the matter another thought. Until you mentioned it, I thought it was one of the horses."

Technorati tags:humor, funny, Bush

Miscellaneous: A Camel Story

2007-05-17T14:07:00.000+08:00

Little camel: Mother, may I ask you some questions?
Mother camel: Sure, why son, is there something bothering you?

Little camel: Why do camels have humps?
Mother camel: Well son, we are desert animals, we need the humps to store water and we are known to survive without water.

Little camel: OK, then why are our legs long and our feet rounded?
Mother camel: Son, obviously they are meant for walking in the desert better than anyone does.

Little camel: OK, then why are our eyelashes long? Sometimes it bothers my sight.
Mother camel: My son, those long thick eyelashes are your protective cover. They help to protect your eyes from the desert sand and wind.

Little camel: I see. So the hump is to store water when we are in the desert, the legs are for walking through the desert and these eyelashes protect my eyes from the desert sand.. Just one more question mother...
Mother camel: Yes, dear?

Little camel: What the hell are we doing in the ZOO?!

Skills, knowledge, abilities and experience are only useful if you are at the right place! Where are you now?

Technorati tags: miscellaneous, story, camel

Joke: Big John

2007-05-09T21:37:00.000+08:00

One fine day, a bus driver went to the bus garage, started his bus, and drove off along the route. No problems for the first few stops - a few people got on, a few got off, and things went generally fine.

At the next stop, however, a big hulk of a guy got on. Six feet eight, built like a wrestler, arms hanging down to the ground. He glared at the driver and said, "Big John doesn't pay!" and sat down at the back.

Did I mention tha the driver was five feet three, thin and basically meek? Well, he was. Naturally he didn't argue with Big John, but he wasn't happy about it. The next day the same thing happened - Big John got on again, made a show of refusing to pay, and sat down. And the next day, and the next.

This grated on the bus driver, who started losing sleep over the way Big John was taking advantage of him. Finally he could stand it no longer. He signed up for body building courses, karate, judo and all that good stuff.

By the end of the summer, he had become quite strong, and what's more, he felt really good about himself. So on the next Monday, when Big John once again got on the bus and said, "Big John doesn't pay!", the driver stood up, glared back at the passenger, and screamed, "And why not?!"

With a surprised look on his face, Big John replied, "Big John has a bus pass."

Management Lesson: Be sure there's a problem in the first place before working hard to solve one.

Technorati tags: humor, funny

Story: The 99 Club

2007-05-05T22:12:00.000+08:00

Long ago, there lived a King. This King should have been contented with his life, given all the riches and luxuries he had. However, this was not the case! The King always found himself wondering why he just never seemed content with his life. Sure, he had the attention of everyone wherever he went, attended fancy dinners and parties, but somehow, he still felt something was lacking and he couldn't put his finger on it.

One day, the King had woken up earlier than usual to stroll around his palace. He entered his huge living room and came to a stop when he heard soemone happily singing away... following this singing... he saw that one of the servants was singing and had a very contented look on his face. This fascinate the King and he summoned this man to his chambers.

The man, his servant, entered the King's chambers as ordered. The King asked why he was so happy? To this the man replied: "Your Majesty, I am nothing but a servant, but I make enough of a living to keep my wife and children happy. We don't need too much, a roof over our heads and warm food to fill our tummy. My wife and children are my inspiration, they are content with whatever little I bring home. I am happy because my family is happy."

Hearing this, the King dismissed the servant and summoned his Personal Assistant to his chambers. The King related his personal anguish about his feelings and then related the story of the servant to his Personal Assistant, hoping that somehow, he will be able to come up with some reasoning that here was a King who could have anything he wished for at a snap of his fingers and yet was not contented, whereas, his servant, having so little was extremely contented.

The Personal Assistant listened attentively and came to a conclusion. He said, "Your Majesty, I believe that the servant has not been made part of the 99 Club." "The 99 Club? And what exactly is that?" the King enquired.

To which the Assistant replied, "Your Majesty, to truly know what The 99 Club is, you will have to do the following... Place 99 Gold coins in a bag and leave it at this servant's doorstep, you will then understand what The 99 Club is."

That very same evening, the King arranged for 99 Gold coins to be placed in a bag at the servant's doorstep. Although he was slightly hesitant and he thought he should have put 100 Gold coins into the bag, but since his Assistant had advised him to put 99, that is what he did.

The servant was just stepping out of his house when he saw a bag at his doorstep. Wondering about its contents, he took it into his house and opened the bag. When he opened the bag, he let out a great big shout of joy... Gold coins... so many of them. He could hardly believe it. He called his wife to show her the coins. He then took the bag to a table and emptied it out and began to count the coins. Doing so, he realised that there were 99 coins and he thought it was an odd number so he counted again, and again and again only to the same conclusion... 99 Gold coins.

He began to wonder, what could have happened to that last coin? For no one would leave 99 coins. He began to search his entire house, looked around his backyard for hours, not wanting to lose out on that one coin. Finally, exhausted, he decided that he was going to have to work harder than ever to make up for that 1 Gold coin to make his entire collection an even 100 Gold coins.

He got up the next morning, in an extremely horrible mood, shouting at the children and his wife for his delay, not realising that he had spent most of the night conjuring ways of working hard so that he had enough money to buy himself that Gold coin. He went to work as usual - only not in his usual best mood, singing happily - as he grumpily did his daily errands.

Seeing the man's attitude change so drastically, the King was puzzled. He promptly summoned his Assistant to his chambers. The King related his thoughts about the servant and once again, his Assistant listened. The King could not believe tha tthe servant who until yesterday had been singing away and was happy and content with his life had taken a sudden change of attitude, even though he should have been happier after receiving the gold coins.

To this his Assistant replied, "Ah! But your Majesty, the servant has now officially joined the 99 Club." He explained, "The 99 Club is just a name given to those people who have everything but yet are never contented, therefore they are always working hard and striving for that extra 1 to round it out to 100!"

We have so much to be thankful for and we can live with very little in our lives, but the minute we are given something bigger and better, we want even more! We are not the same happy contented person we used to be, we want more and more and by wanting more and more we don't realise the price we pay for it. We lose our sleep, our happiness, we hurt the people around us just as a price to pay for our growing needs and desires. That is what joining the 99 Club is all about.

Striving for more is always good, but let's not strive so hard and for so much that we lose all those near and dear to our hearts, we shouldn't compromise our happiness for moments of luxuries!

Technorati tags: story, life

Health: Vicks Vaporub

2007-05-01T23:55:00.000+08:00

Hi guys, so sorry been having exams and couldn't find time to repair my laptop's keyboard (from which I work on, no desktop, hehe). Here I am back with this health-related email I received recently, haven't tested it out myself, no harm trying ;) - Espen

Someone can try this out... especially those with kids.

Sorry, no graphic for this one, and don't laugh, it works 100% of the time although the scientists at the Canada Research council who discovered it aren't sure why.

To stop nighttime coughing in a child (or adult as we found out personally), put Vicks Vaporub generously on the bottom of the feet at bedtime then cover with socks.

Even persistent, heavy, deep coughing will stop in about 5 minutes and stay stopped for many, many hours of relief. Works 100% of the time and is more effective in children than even very strong prescriptions cough medicines. In addition it is extremely soothing and comforting and they will sleep soundly.

I heard the head of the Canada Research Council describe these findings on behalf of their scientists when they were investigating the effectiveness and usage of prescription cough medicines in children as compared to alternative therapies like accupressure. I Just happened to tune in A.M. radio and picked up this guy talking about why cough medicines in kids often do more harm than good due to the chemical makeup of these strong drugs so, I listened.

It was a surprising finding and found to be more effective than prescribed medicines for children at bedtime, and in addition, it has a soothing and calming effect on sick children who then went on to sleep soundly.

Lolly tried it on herself when she had a very deep constant and persistent cough a few weeks ago and it worked 100%! She said that it felt like a warm blanket had enveloped her. Her coughing stopped in a few minutes and believe me, this was a deep, (incredibly annoying every few seconds uncontrollable cough, and she slept cough free for hours every night that she used it.

So, if you have children, pass it on, if you end up sick, try it yourself and you will be absolutely amazed by the effect.

Technorati tags: health, vicks, cough, remedy

Joke: Random Jokes, Have A Laugh

2007-04-09T17:00:00.000+08:00

Girl: Will you love me after marriage also?
Guy: This depends on your husband, if he allows me.

Doc: Your husband needs rest and peace. Here are some sleeping pills.
Wife: When must I give them to him?
Doc: They are for you.

God saw me hungry, he created pizza.
He saw me thirsty, he created pepsi.
He saw me in dark, he created light.
He saw me without problems, he created YOU.

The children were lined up in the cafeteria of a Catholic elementary school for lunch. At the head of the table was a large pile of apples. The nun made a note, and pasted on the apple tray "Take only one. God is watching."

Moving further along the lunch line, at the other end of the table was a large pile of chocolate chip cookies. A child had written a note, "Take all you want. God is watching the apples."

One early morning, a mother went to her sleeping son and woke him up.
MOM: "Wake up, son. It's time to go to school."
SON: "But why, Mama? I don't want to go to school."
MOM: "Give me two reasons why you don't want to go to school."
SON: "One, all the children hate me. Two, all the teachers hate me."
MOM: "Oh! That's not a reason. Come on, you have to go to school."
SON: "Give me two good reasons why I should go to school?"
MOM: "One, you are fifty-two years old and should understand your responsibilities. Two, you are the PRINCIPAL of the school."

What are the three fastest ways of communication?
1. Tele-phone
2. Tele-vision
3. Tell-a-woman
You still want faster?
Tell her not to tell anyone. =x

A man is dying of cancer. His son asked him, "Dad, why do you keep telling people you're dying of AIDS?" He replied, "So when I'm dead no one will dare to touch your mom!"

Technorati tags:humor, jokes, funny

Joke: Typo Error Can Be Serious...

2007-04-07T15:47:00.000+08:00

I commit many typo errors in my emails, much due to the urge of getting them out as fast as possible and sometimes due to my poor English.

However, we should all be mindful that typo errors can be very serious sometimes, or example:

1. A daughter sent a telegram to her parents on passing her B.Ed (Bachelor of Education) examinations: "Dear Pa and Ma, your daughter has been sucessful in BED!"

2. A husband, while on a business trip to a resort station sent an email message to his wife, "I wish you were here."

The message received by the wife was, "I wish you were her."

3. A man wanted to celebrate his wife's birthday by throwing a party. So he phoned to order an expensive birthday cake. The salesman over the phone asked what message he wanted to put on the cake.

He thought or a moment and said, "OK. Put this sentence. 'Getting older but you are getting better.'" The salesman asked, "How do you want me to position on the cake?"

The man said, "Well..put 'You are getting older' at the top and 'but you are getting better' at the bottom."

When the cake was unveiled at the party, all the guests saw the message on the cake as "You are getting better at the top, but you are getting better at the bottom"

Joke: Difficult Maths

2007-03-30T21:07:00.000+08:00

Technorati tags:humor, funny, maths

Story: The Wise Old Man

2007-03-25T17:00:00.000+08:00

A man of 92 years, short, very well-presented, who takes great care in his appearance, is moving into an old people's home today. His wife of 70 has recently died, and he was obliged to leave his home.

After waiting several hours in the retirement home lobby, he gently smiles as he is told that his room is ready.

As he slowly walks to the elevator, using his cane, I describe his small room to him, including the sheet hung at the window which serves as a curtain. "I like it very much," he says, with the enthusiasm of an 8 year old boy who has just been given a new puppy.

"Mr Gagne, you haven't even seen the room yet, hang on a moment, we're almost there."

"That has nothing to do with it," he replies. "Happiness is something I choose in advance. Whether or not I like the room does not depend on the furniture, or the decor - rather it depends on how I decide to see it."

"It is already decided in my mind that I like my room. It is a decision I take every morning when I wake up."

"I can choose. I can spend my day in bed enumerating all the difficulties that I have with the parts of my body that no longer work very well, or I can get up and give thanks to heaven for those parts that are still in working order."

"Every day is a gift, and as long as I can open my eyes, I will focus on the new day, and all the happy memories that I have built up during my life. Old age is like a bank account. You withdraw in later life what you have deposited along the way."

So my advice to you is to deposit all the happiness you can in your bank account of memories. Thank you for your part in filling my account with happy memories, which I am still continuing to fill...

Remember these simple guidelines for happiness:
1. Free your heart from hate.
2. Free your mind from worry.
3. Live simply.
4. Give more.
5. Expect less.

Miscellaneous: The Impossible Quiz!

2007-03-13T19:06:00.000+08:00

Hi ppl, it's been so long! My sincerest apologies, been kinda busy and stressed out with my studies, didn't have the mood to search for new content but here's one that I found my bro playing! It's kinda cool for people looking to destress... the questions and answers are kinda lame and irritating sometimes...have fun! - Espen

Newgrounds presents: The Impossible Quiz

Technorati tags:humor, miscellaneous, impossible quiz

Joke: Words That Women Use

2007-02-22T11:23:00.000+08:00

FINE

This is the word women use to end an argument when they feel they are right and you need to shut up. Never use "fine" to describe how a woman looks - this will cause you to have one of those arguments.

FIVE MINUTES

This is half an hour. It is equivalent to the five minutes that your football game is going to last before you take out the trash, so it's an even trade.

NOTHING

This means "something," and you should be on your toes. "Nothing" is usually used to describe the feeling a woman has of wanting to turn you inside out, upside down, and backwards. "Nothing" usually signifies an argument that will last "Five Minutes" and end with "Fine"

GO AHEAD ( With Raised Eyebrows! )

This is a dare. One that will result in a woman getting upset over "Nothing" and will end with the word "Fine"

GO AHEAD ( Normal Eyebrows)

This means "I give up" or "do what you want because I don't care" You will get a "Raised Eyebrow Go Ahead" in just a few minutes, followed by "Nothing" and "Fine" and she will talk to you in about "Five Minutes" when she cools off.

LOUD SIGH

This is not actually a word, but is a non-verbal statement often misunderstood by men. A "Loud Sigh" means she thinks you are an idiot at that moment, and wonders why she is wasting her time standing here and arguing with you over "Nothing"

SOFT SIGH

Again, not a word, but a non-verbal statement. "Soft Sighs" mean that she is content. Your best bet is to not move or breathe, and she will stay content.

THAT'S OKAY

This is one of the most dangerous statements that a woman can make to a man. "That's Okay" means that she wants to think long and hard before paying you back for whatever it is that you have done. "That's Okay" is often used with the word "Fine" and in conjunction with a "Raised Eyebrow."

GO AHEAD!

At some point in the near future, you are going to be in some mighty big trouble .

PLEASE DO

This is not a statement, it is an offer. A woman is giving you the chance to come up with whatever excuse or reason you have for doing whatever it is that you have done. You have a fair chance with the truth, so be careful and you shouldn't get a "That's Okay"

THANKS

A woman is thanking you. Do not faint. Just say you're welcome.

THANKS A LOT

This is much different from "Thanks." A woman will say, "Thanks A Lot" when she is really ticked off at you. It signifies that you have offended her in some callous way, and will be followed by the "Loud Sigh." Be careful not to ask what is wrong after the "Loud Sigh," as she will only tell you "Nothing"

Technorati tags:humor, joke, women

Health: Crack Bones?

2007-02-10T20:39:00.000+08:00

When people crack their knuckles, they aren't actually cracking the bones at all. The spaces in between the bones are filled with stuff to keep the bones from rubbing against each other (because that would really hurt...it's called arthritis).

There is cartilage and fluid among other things in the space between the bones, and we call that space a joint. Sometimes we can apply force to the joints by pushing on our fingers in a certain way. The "pop" you hear is a result of the stuff in the joint being pulled out of place a little bit.

Some people say that if you continue to pop your knuckles that you will get arthritis, but so far, that has not been proven to be true. However, popping your knuckles does put a strain on some of the muscles in the hand you do it a lot, and sometimes that can lead to pain in the hand.

Technorati tags:health, bones

Joke: Good Adverts - Life's too short for the wrong job!

2007-02-06T18:00:00.000+08:00

Health: Zap Sponges to Kill Germs in Just 2 Minutes

2007-01-31T15:16:00.000+08:00

Two minutes in a microwave oven can sterilise most household sponges, United States researchers reported on Monday.

A team of engineering researchers at the University of Florida found that two minutes of microwavign on full power killed or inactivated more than 99 per cent of bacteria, viruses or parasites, as well as spores, on a kitchen sponge.

"People often put their sponges and scrubbers in the dishwasher, but if they really want to decontaminate them and not just clean them, they should use the microwave," said Gabriel Bitton, a professor of environmental engineering who led the study.

Writing in the Journal of Environmental Health, Bitton and colleagues said they soaked sponges and scrubbing pads in raw wastewater containing faecal bacteria such as E. coli, viruses, protozoan parasites and bacterial spores.

Then they used a common household microwave oven to heat up the sponges. It took four to 10 minutes to kill all the spores but everything else was killed after two, they said.

"The microwave is a very powerful and an inexpensive tool for sterilisation," Bitton said.

However, the sponge must be wet before it is microwaved, to prevent a fire from starting.

At least 76 million Americans get sick from food-borne microbes every year, according to the US Centers for Disease Control and Prevention, and 5,000 people die from them.

Kitchens are a common source of these illnesses.

Adapted from Mind Your Body. The Straits Times. 31 Jan 2007

Technorati tags:health, sponges, kitchen

Joke: Advertisement Rules!

2007-01-26T13:20:00.000+08:00

Read this before viewing the pictures below:

1. BMW started it with this advertisement.
2. Audi answered.
3. Subaru needed to say something.
4. Bentley chairman wanted the last word!

Technorati tags:humor, joke, advertisement

Health: Leaf It Up I

2007-01-20T01:22:00.000+08:00

Here's an intro to a detailed write-up on leaves which are good for health when consumed... It's kinda lengthy so I've broken it up into segments... Here's the first instalment - Espen

It is easy to overlook leaves. Often used as salad fillers or unseen herbs that add oomph to dishes, edible green leaves are some of the most nutrient-dense foods.

Chlorophyll - responsible for the green in leaves - is being investigated for preventing and treating cancer. While the jury is still out on the direct health benefits of chlorophyll, greens offer much more beyond their pigment.

Abundant in countless substances - minerals that maintain overall health, antioxidants that disarm free radicals, specific nutrients that stimulate detoxification, and chemicals that cleverly convince cancer cells to self-destruct - leaves are particularly potent health boosters.

So, kick-start your annual "this year, I will eat healthily" promise by teaching your taste buds to turn over a new leaf.

Start by selecting fresh leaves. Take in the vibrant, intense colours, each hue representing a different blend of nutrients. Prepare them lightly and enjoy their earthy, slightly peppery taste.

Here are a few ideas for colouring your plate in different shades of green - and a touch of red.

CORIANDER

image adapted from http://www.vegetableseed.net/index.html

Coriander leaves have a sharp, fresh flavour, with a hint of citrus - which comes from their rich volatile oils. These aromatic oils are thought to kill microbes. Some animal studies have shown that these leaves might help lower blood sugar and improve the profile of fats in the body. In ayurvedic medicine, coriander leaves are used as a liver tonic. And experiments done in Japan have found that the herb helps the body flush out the heavy metal toxins like lead, cadmium and mercury.

GOTU KOLA

image adapted from http://www.mallorcaspirit.com/index.htm

This is also known as brahmi and Indian pennywort.

Well before anti-ageing became a buzzword, gotu kola was used in Chinese medicine as a tonic to extend life. Legend has it that a Chinese herbalist used the herb to stretch his life to 256 years!

While that experiment has not been repeated, studies have found that gotu kola offers other important health benefits.

It appears to increase mental acuity. Research has found that this herb boosts memory, improves learning capabilities, and possibly even combats some of the memory loss associated with Alzheimer's disease. An overall nervous system tonic, gotu kola is regarded as one of the most spiritual and rejuvenating herbs in ayurveda and is used to promote a sense of calm. It is believed that the herb works by balancing the right and left hemispheres of the brain.

One study demonstrated that over a period of 12 weeks, 30 developmentally disabled children showed an improvement in concentration and attention levels after taking gotu kola.

The herb is rich in chemicals called triterpenes, which promote healthy formation of collagen in bones, cartilage and connective tissue - this makes it powerful as a treatment for wounds and burns.

Gotu kola also strengthens blod vessels, which in turn improves blood flow, and makes this plant valuable in treating varicose veins.

The fresh herb can be bought at wet markets and is also available in supplement form from pharmacies.

Note: Pregnant or nursing women, or those who are trying to conceive, should not use high doses of gotu kola, typically found in extracts of the herb.

Technorati tags:health, herbs, coriander, gotu kola

Joke: 3-minute Management Course

2007-01-16T17:22:00.000+08:00

Lesson 1:
A man is getting into the shower just as his wife is finishing up her shower, when the doorbell rings. The wife quickly wraps herself in a towel and runs downstairs.

When she opens the door, there stands Bob, the next-door neighbour. Before she says a word, Bob says, "I'll give you $800 to drop that towel."

After thinking for a moment, the woman drops her towel and stands naked in front of Bob. After a few seconds, Bob hands her $800 and leaves.

The woman wraps back up in the towel and goes back upstairs. When she gets to the bathroom, her husband asks, "Who was that?"

"It was Bob the next-door neighbour," she replies.

"Great!" the husband says, "did he say anything about the $800 he owes me?"

Moral of the story: If you share critical information pertaining to credit and risk with your shareholders in time, you may be in a position to prevent avoidable exposure.

Lesson 2:
A priest offered a nun a lift. She got in and crossed her legs, forcing her gown to reveal a leg. The priest nearly had an accident.

After controlling the car, he stealthily slid his hand up her leg. The nun said, "Father, remember Psalm 129?"

The priest removed his hand.

But, changing gears, he let his hand slide up her leg again. The nun once again said, "Father, remember Psalm 129?"

The priest apologised, "Sorry sister but the flesh is weak." Arriving at the convent, the nun went on her way.

On his arrival at the church, the priest rushed to look up Psalm 129. It said: "Go forth and seek, further up, you will find glory."

Moral of the story: If you are not well informed in your job, you might miss a great opportunity.

Lesson 3:
A sales rep, an administration clerk, and the manager are walking to lunch when they find an antique oil lamp. They rub it and a Genie comes out. The Genie says, "I'll give each of you just one wish."

"Me first! Me first!" says the admin clerk. "I want to be in the Bahamas, driving a speedboat, without a care in the world!" Puff! She's gone.

"Me next! Me next!" says the sales rep. "I want to be in Hawaii, relaxing on the beach with my personal masseuse, an endless supply of Pina Coladas and the love of my life." Puff! He's gone.

"Ok, you're up," says the Genie to the manager. The manager says, "I want those two backin the office after lunch."

Moral of the story: Always let your boss have the first say.

Lesson 4:
An eagle was sitting on a tree resting, doing nothing. A small rabbit saw the eagle and asked him, "Can I also sit like you and do nothing?" The eagle answered, "Sure, why not?"

So, the rabbit sat on the ground below the eagle and rested.

All of a sudden, a fox appeared, jumped on the rabbit and ate it.

Moral of the story: To be sitting and doing nothing, you must be sitting very, very high up.

Lesson 5:
A turkey was chatting with a bull. "I would love to be able to get to the top of that tree," sighed the turkey, "but I haven't got the energy."

"Well, why don't you nibble on some of my droppings?" replied the bull. "They're packed with nutrients."

The turkey pecked at a lump of dung, and found it actually gave him enough strength to reach the lowest branch of the tree. The next day, after eating some more dung, he reached the second branch.

Finally after a fourth night, the turkey was proudly perched at the top of the tree.

He was promptly spotted by a farmer, who shot him out of the tree.

Moral of the story: Bullshit might get you to the top, but it won't keep you there.

Lesson 6:
A little bird was flying south for the winter. It was so cold the bird froze and fell to the ground into a large field. While he was lying there, a cow came by and dropped some dung on him.

As the frozen bird lay there in the pile of cow dung, he began to realise how warm he was. The dung was actually thawing him out! He lay there all warm and happy, and soon began to sing for joy.

A passing cat heard the bird singing and came to investigate. Following the sound, the cat discovered the bird under the pile of cow dung, and promptly dug him out and ate him.

Moral of the story:
(1) Not everyone who shits on you is your enemy.
(2) Not everyone who gets you out of shit is your friend.
(3) And when you're in deep shit, it's best to keep your mouth shut!

This ends the 3-minute management course.

Technorati tags:humor, joke, management course

Joke: Anxious Cab Driver

2007-01-11T18:28:00.000+08:00

A taxi passenger tapped the driver on the shoulder to ask him a question. The driver screamed, lost control of the car, nearly hit a bus, went up on the footpath, and stopped centimeters from a shop window.

For a second everything went quiet in the cab, then the driver said, "Look mate, don't ever do that again. You scared the daylights out of me!"

The passenger apologized and said, "I didn't realize that a little tap would scare you so much."

The driver replied, "Sorry, it's not really your fault. Today is my first day as a cab driver. I've been driving a funeral van for the last 25 years."

Technorati tags:humor, joke, cab driver

Joke: As I Mature...

2007-01-05T11:53:00.000+08:00

As I mature I've learned that you cannot make someone love you. All you can do is stalk them and hope they panic and give in.

I've learned that no matter how much I care, some people are just assholes.

I've learned that it takes years to build up trust, and it only takes suspicion, not proof, to destroy it.

I've learned that you can get by on charm for about fifteen minutes. After that, you'd better have a big willy or huge boobs.

I've learned that you shouldn't compare yourself to others - they are more screwed up than you think.

I've learned that you can keep vomiting long after you think you're finished.

I've learned that we are responsible for what we do, unless we are celebrities.

I've learned that regardless of how hot and steamy a relationship is at first, the passion fades, and there had better be a lot of money to take its place!

I've learned that 99% of the time when something isn't working in your house, one of your kids did it

I've learned that the people you care most about in life are taken from you too soon and all the less important ones just never go away.

Technorati tags:humor, joke, mature

Joke: The World After 10 Years of Internet II

2007-01-01T02:10:00.000+08:00

Wishing everyone a very Happy New Year! May we usher in a year of prosperity and fulfilled hopes and dreams! - Espen

Technorati tags:humor, joke, internet

Jokes: Smart Ass Answers

2006-12-28T23:22:00.000+08:00

SMART ASS ANSWER #6

It was mealtime during a flight on Hooters Airline. "Would you like dinner?" the flight attendant asked John, seated in front.

"What are my choices?" John asked.

"Yes or no," she replied.

SMART ASS ANSWER #5

A flight attendant was stationed at the departure gate to check tickets. As a man approached, she extended her hand for the ticket and he opened his trench coat and flashed her.

Without missing a beat, she said, "Sir, I need to see your ticket not your stub."

SMART ASS ANSWER #4

A lady was picking through the frozen turkeys at the grocery store but she couldn't find one big enough for her family.

She asked a stock boy, "Do these turkeys get any bigger?"

The stock boy replied, "No ma'am, they're dead."

SMART ASS ANSWER #3

The cop got out of his car and the kid who was stopped for speeding rolled down his window."I've been waiting for you all day," the cop said.

The kid replied, "Yeah, well I got here as fast as I could."

When the cop finally stopped laughing, he sent the kid on his way without a ticket.

SMART ASS ANSWER #2

A truck driver was driving along on the freeway. A sign comes up that reads, "Low Bridge Ahead." Before he knows it, the bridge is right ahead of him and he gets stuck under the bridge. Cars are backed up for miles. Finally, a police car comes up.

The cop gets out of his car and walks to the truck driver, puts his hands on his hips and says, "Got stuck, huh?"

The truck driver says, "No, I was delivering this bridge and ran out of gas."

SMART ASS ANSWER OF THE YEAR 2006

A college teacher reminds her class of tomorrow's final exam."Now class, I won't tolerate any excuses for you not being here tomorrow. I might consider a nuclear attack, a serious personal injury, illness, or a death in your immediate family, but that's it, no other excuses whatsoever!"

A smart-ass guy in the back of the room raised his hand and asked, "What would you say if tomorrow I said I was suffering from complete and utter sexual exhaustion?"

The entire class is reduced to laughter and snickering. When silence is restored, the teacher smiles knowingly at the student, shakes her head and sweetly says, "Well, I guess you'd have to write the exam with your other hand."

Technorati tags:humor, jokes, smart

Admin: Merry Christmas!

2006-12-25T12:32:00.001+08:00

Just like to wish all my dearest blog-readers a Merry Christmas!

Joke: The Wisdom of Gordon Strachan

2006-12-23T11:07:00.000+08:00

Gordon Strachan, football manager and comic genius!

On Wayne Rooney...
"It's an incredible rise to stardom; at 17 you're more likely to get a call from Michael Jackson than Sven Goran Eriksson."

Reporter: "Gordon, can we have a quick word please?"
Strachan: "Velocity" [walks off]

Reporter: So, Gordon, in what areas do you think Middlesbrough were better than you today?Strachan: What areas? Mainly that big green one out there.

Reporter: "Gordon, what will you take from today?"
Strachan: I've got more important things to think about. I've got a yoghurt to finish, the expiry date is today.

Reporter: There goes your unbeaten run. Can you take it?
Strachan: No, I'm just going to crumble like a wreck. I'll go home, become an alcoholic and maybe jump off a bridge.

Reporter: There's no negative vibes or negative feelings here?
Strachan: Apart from yourself, we're all quite positive round here. So I'm going to whack you over the head with a big stick - down negative man, down.

Reporter: Welcome to Southampton Football Club. Do you think you are the right man to turn things around?
Strachan: No, I think they should have got George Graham because I'm useless.

Reporter: Where will Marion Pahars fit into the team line-up?
Strachan: Not telling you! It's a secret.

Reporter: "What is your impression of Jermaine Pennant?"
Strachan: "I don't do impressions"

Reporter: So Gordon, any changes then?
Strachan: Naw, still 5ft 6, ginger and a big nose!

Gary Lineker: So Gordon, if you were English, what formation would you play?
Strachan: If I was English I'd top myself!

Technorati tags:humor, joke, Gordon Strachan

Joke: Maharishi Phucknuckel's Guide to Zen

2006-12-20T17:39:00.000+08:00

1. Do not walk behind me, for I may not lead. Do not walk ahead of me, for I may not follow. Do not walk beside me either, just f*** off and leave me alone.

2. The journey of a thousand miles begins with a broken fan belt and a flat tyre.

3. The darkest hours come just before the dawn. So if you're going to steal your neighbour's milk and newspaper, that's the time to do it.

4. Sex is like air. It only becomes important when you aren't getting any.

5. Don't aspire to become irreplaceable. If you can't be replaced, you can't be promoted.

6. Remember, no one is listening until you fart.

7. Never forget that you are unique, like everyone else.

8. Never test the depth of the water with both feet.

9. If you think nobody cares whether you're dead or alive, try missing a couple of mortgage
payments.

10. Before you judge someone, you should walk a mile in their shoes. That way, when you judge
them, you're a mile away and you have their shoes.

11. If at first you don't succeed, avoid skydiving.

12. Give a man a fish and he will eat for a day. Teach him how to fish, and he will sit in a boat
and drink beer all day.

13. Have you ever lent someone a 20 and never seen that person again? It was probably worth it.

14. If you tell the truth, you don't have to remember anything.

15. Some days we are the flies; some days we are the windscreens.

16. Don't worry; it only seems kinky the first time.

17. Good judgement comes from experience, experience comes from bad judgement.

18. The quickest way to double your money is to fold it in half and put it back in your pocket.

19. A closed mouth gathers no feet.

20. There are two theories about how to win an argument with a woman. Neither one works.

21. Generally speaking, you aren't learning much if your lips are moving.

22. Never miss a good chance to shut up.

23. Experience is something you don't get until just after you need it.

24. When we are born we are naked, wet, hungry, and we get smacked on our arse. From there on, life gets worse.

25. The most wasted day of all is one in which we have not laughed.

Technorati tags:humor, funny, zen

Miscellaneous: Beauty of Maths!

2006-12-17T21:08:00.000+08:00

Hmm, I didn't know til now! - Espen

1 x 8 + 1 = 9
12 x 8 + 2 = 98
123 x 8 + 3 = 987
1234 x 8 + 4 = 9876
12345 x 8 + 5 = 98765
123456 x 8 + 6 = 987654
1234567 x 8 + 7 = 9876543
12345678 x 8 + 8 = 98765432
123456789 x 8 + 9 = 987654321

1 x 9 + 2 = 11
12 x 9 + 3 = 111
123 x 9 + 4 = 1111
1234 x 9 + 5 = 11111
12345 x 9 + 6 = 111111
123456 x 9 + 7 = 1111111
1234567 x 9 + 8 = 11111111
12345678 x 9 + 9 = 111111111
123456789 x 9 +10= 1111111111

9 x 9 + 7 = 88
98 x 9 + 6 = 888
987 x 9 + 5 = 8888
9876 x 9 + 4 = 88888
98765 x 9 + 3 = 888888
987654 x 9 + 2 = 8888888
9876543 x 9 + 1 = 88888888
98765432 x 9 + 0 = 888888888

And finally, take a look at this symmetry:

1 x 1 = 1
11 x 11 = 121
111 x 111 = 12321
1111 x 1111 = 1234321
11111 x 11111 = 123454321
111111 x 111111 = 12345654321
1111111 x 1111111 = 1234567654321
11111111 x 11111111 = 123456787654321
111111111 x 111111111=12345678987654321

Technorati tags:miscellaneous, maths, interesting

Joke: The World After 10 Years of Internet

2006-12-13T11:36:00.000+08:00

More to come.... ;) - Espen

Technorati tags:humour, joke, internet