Here at Gramps' Place, we share very funny and sometimes pretty lame jokes, interesting, motivational or educational stories, fun facts and also tips on how to stay healthy.
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Joke: If Movies Teach Us Anything II
- Large, loft-style apartments in New York City are well within the price range of most people, whether they are employed or not.
- At least one of a pair of identical twins is born evil.
- Should you decide to defuse a bomb, don't worry which wire to cut. You will always choose the right one.
- Most laptop computers are powerful enough to override the communications system of any invading alien society.
- It does not matter if you are heavily outnumbered in a fight involving martial arts: your enemies will wait patiently to attack you one by one by dancing around in a threatening manner until you have knocked out their predecessors.
- When you turn out the light to go to bed, everything in your bedroom will still be clearly visible, just slightly bluish.
- If you are blonde and pretty, it is possible to become a world expert on nuclear fission at the age of 22.
- Honest and hard working policemen are traditionally gunned down three days before their retirement.
- Rather than wasting bullets, megalomaniacs prefer to kill their arch enemies using complicated machinery involving fuses, pulley systems, deadly gases, lasers, and man-eating sharks, which will allow their captives at least 20 minutes to escape.
- It's easy for anyone to land a plane providing there is someone in the control tower to talk you down.
- Once applied, lipstick will never rub off even while scuba diving.
- You're very likely to survive any battle in any war unless you make the mistake of showing someone a picture of your sweetheart back home.
- Should you wish to pass yourself off as a German or Russian officer, it will not be necessary to speak the language. A German or Russian accent will do.
- The Eiffel Tower can be seen from any window in Paris.
- If a large pane of glass is visible, someone will be thrown through it before long.
- If staying in a haunted house, women should investigate any strange noises in their most revealing underwear.
- Word processors never display a cursor on screen but will always say: Enter Password Now.
- Even when driving down a perfectly straight road, it is necessary to turn the steering wheel vigorously from left to right every few moments.
- All bombs are fitted with electronic timing devices with large red readouts so you know exactly when they're going to go off.
- If you decide to start dancing in the street, everyone you meet will know all the steps.
- Police departments give their officers personality tests to make sure they are deliberately assigned a partner who is their total opposite.
- When they are alone, all foreign military officers prefer to speak to each other in English.
Technorati tags: humor, funny, movies
