Here at Gramps' Place, we share very funny and sometimes pretty lame jokes, interesting, motivational or educational stories, fun facts and also tips on how to stay healthy.
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Miscellaneous: A Camel Story
Little camel: Mother, may I ask you some questions?
Mother camel: Sure, why son, is there something bothering you?
Little camel: Why do camels have humps?
Mother camel: Well son, we are desert animals, we need the humps to store water and we are known to survive without water.
Little camel: OK, then why are our legs long and our feet rounded?
Mother camel: Son, obviously they are meant for walking in the desert better than anyone does.
Little camel: OK, then why are our eyelashes long? Sometimes it bothers my sight.
Mother camel: My son, those long thick eyelashes are your protective cover. They help to protect your eyes from the desert sand and wind.
Little camel: I see. So the hump is to store water when we are in the desert, the legs are for walking through the desert and these eyelashes protect my eyes from the desert sand.. Just one more question mother...
Mother camel: Yes, dear?
Little camel: What the hell are we doing in the ZOO?!
Skills, knowledge, abilities and experience are only useful if you are at the right place! Where are you now?
Technorati tags: miscellaneous, story, camel
Joke: Big John
One fine day, a bus driver went to the bus garage, started his bus, and drove off along the route. No problems for the first few stops - a few people got on, a few got off, and things went generally fine.
At the next stop, however, a big hulk of a guy got on. Six feet eight, built like a wrestler, arms hanging down to the ground. He glared at the driver and said, "Big John doesn't pay!" and sat down at the back.
Did I mention tha the driver was five feet three, thin and basically meek? Well, he was. Naturally he didn't argue with Big John, but he wasn't happy about it. The next day the same thing happened - Big John got on again, made a show of refusing to pay, and sat down. And the next day, and the next.
This grated on the bus driver, who started losing sleep over the way Big John was taking advantage of him. Finally he could stand it no longer. He signed up for body building courses, karate, judo and all that good stuff.
By the end of the summer, he had become quite strong, and what's more, he felt really good about himself. So on the next Monday, when Big John once again got on the bus and said, "Big John doesn't pay!", the driver stood up, glared back at the passenger, and screamed, "And why not?!"
With a surprised look on his face, Big John replied, "Big John has a bus pass."
Management Lesson: Be sure there's a problem in the first place before working hard to solve one.
Technorati tags: humor, funny
Story: The 99 Club
One day, the King had woken up earlier than usual to stroll around his palace. He entered his huge living room and came to a stop when he heard soemone happily singing away... following this singing... he saw that one of the servants was singing and had a very contented look on his face. This fascinate the King and he summoned this man to his chambers.
The man, his servant, entered the King's chambers as ordered. The King asked why he was so happy? To this the man replied: "Your Majesty, I am nothing but a servant, but I make enough of a living to keep my wife and children happy. We don't need too much, a roof over our heads and warm food to fill our tummy. My wife and children are my inspiration, they are content with whatever little I bring home. I am happy because my family is happy."
Hearing this, the King dismissed the servant and summoned his Personal Assistant to his chambers. The King related his personal anguish about his feelings and then related the story of the servant to his Personal Assistant, hoping that somehow, he will be able to come up with some reasoning that here was a King who could have anything he wished for at a snap of his fingers and yet was not contented, whereas, his servant, having so little was extremely contented.
The Personal Assistant listened attentively and came to a conclusion. He said, "Your Majesty, I believe that the servant has not been made part of the 99 Club." "The 99 Club? And what exactly is that?" the King enquired.
To which the Assistant replied, "Your Majesty, to truly know what The 99 Club is, you will have to do the following... Place 99 Gold coins in a bag and leave it at this servant's doorstep, you will then understand what The 99 Club is."
That very same evening, the King arranged for 99 Gold coins to be placed in a bag at the servant's doorstep. Although he was slightly hesitant and he thought he should have put 100 Gold coins into the bag, but since his Assistant had advised him to put 99, that is what he did.
The servant was just stepping out of his house when he saw a bag at his doorstep. Wondering about its contents, he took it into his house and opened the bag. When he opened the bag, he let out a great big shout of joy... Gold coins... so many of them. He could hardly believe it. He called his wife to show her the coins. He then took the bag to a table and emptied it out and began to count the coins. Doing so, he realised that there were 99 coins and he thought it was an odd number so he counted again, and again and again only to the same conclusion... 99 Gold coins.
He began to wonder, what could have happened to that last coin? For no one would leave 99 coins. He began to search his entire house, looked around his backyard for hours, not wanting to lose out on that one coin. Finally, exhausted, he decided that he was going to have to work harder than ever to make up for that 1 Gold coin to make his entire collection an even 100 Gold coins.
He got up the next morning, in an extremely horrible mood, shouting at the children and his wife for his delay, not realising that he had spent most of the night conjuring ways of working hard so that he had enough money to buy himself that Gold coin. He went to work as usual - only not in his usual best mood, singing happily - as he grumpily did his daily errands.
Seeing the man's attitude change so drastically, the King was puzzled. He promptly summoned his Assistant to his chambers. The King related his thoughts about the servant and once again, his Assistant listened. The King could not believe tha tthe servant who until yesterday had been singing away and was happy and content with his life had taken a sudden change of attitude, even though he should have been happier after receiving the gold coins.
To this his Assistant replied, "Ah! But your Majesty, the servant has now officially joined the 99 Club." He explained, "The 99 Club is just a name given to those people who have everything but yet are never contented, therefore they are always working hard and striving for that extra 1 to round it out to 100!"
We have so much to be thankful for and we can live with very little in our lives, but the minute we are given something bigger and better, we want even more! We are not the same happy contented person we used to be, we want more and more and by wanting more and more we don't realise the price we pay for it. We lose our sleep, our happiness, we hurt the people around us just as a price to pay for our growing needs and desires. That is what joining the 99 Club is all about.
Striving for more is always good, but let's not strive so hard and for so much that we lose all those near and dear to our hearts, we shouldn't compromise our happiness for moments of luxuries!
Technorati tags: story, life
Health: Vicks Vaporub
Hi guys, so sorry been having exams and couldn't find time to repair my laptop's keyboard (from which I work on, no desktop, hehe). Here I am back with this health-related email I received recently, haven't tested it out myself, no harm trying ;) - Espen
Someone can try this out... especially those with kids.
Sorry, no graphic for this one, and don't laugh, it works 100% of the time although the scientists at the Canada Research council who discovered it aren't sure why.
To stop nighttime coughing in a child (or adult as we found out personally), put Vicks Vaporub generously on the bottom of the feet at bedtime then cover with socks.
Even persistent, heavy, deep coughing will stop in about 5 minutes and stay stopped for many, many hours of relief. Works 100% of the time and is more effective in children than even very strong prescriptions cough medicines. In addition it is extremely soothing and comforting and they will sleep soundly.
I heard the head of the Canada Research Council describe these findings on behalf of their scientists when they were investigating the effectiveness and usage of prescription cough medicines in children as compared to alternative therapies like accupressure. I Just happened to tune in A.M. radio and picked up this guy talking about why cough medicines in kids often do more harm than good due to the chemical makeup of these strong drugs so, I listened.
It was a surprising finding and found to be more effective than prescribed medicines for children at bedtime, and in addition, it has a soothing and calming effect on sick children who then went on to sleep soundly.
Lolly tried it on herself when she had a very deep constant and persistent cough a few weeks ago and it worked 100%! She said that it felt like a warm blanket had enveloped her. Her coughing stopped in a few minutes and believe me, this was a deep, (incredibly annoying every few seconds uncontrollable cough, and she slept cough free for hours every night that she used it.
So, if you have children, pass it on, if you end up sick, try it yourself and you will be absolutely amazed by the effect.
Technorati tags: health, vicks, cough, remedy
