Gramps' Place

They Say Men Don't Listen...

Mark, a loving husband, was in trouble. He forgot his wedding anniversary and his wife was really ticked off at him. She told him, "Tomorrow morning, I expect to find a gift in the driveway that goes from 0 to 200 in under 6 seconds, AND IT BETTER BE THERE."

The next morning, Mark got up really early before work. When his wife woke up a couple of hours later, she looked out the window, and sure enough, there was a small gift-wrapped box sitting in the middle of the driveway. Confused, the wife put on her robe, ran out to the driveway, and took the box into the house.

She opened it, and found a brand new bathroom scale.

Mark is not yet well enough to have visitors...

State Trooper

A Utah State Trooper was running radar. He had a perfect spot to watch for speeders, but was not getting any. Then he discovered the problem. A 12-year-old boy was standing up the road with a hand-painted sign that read "RADAR TRAP AHEAD!" The officer later found a young accomplice, on down the road, with a sign reading, "TIPS" and a bucket full of money. (And we used to just sell lemonade!)

Better

A motorist was mailed a picture of his car speeding through an automated radar post. A $40 speeding ticket was included. Being cute, he sent the police department a picture of $40. The police responded with another mailed photo of handcuffs.

Best

A young woman was pulled over for speeding. As the Trooper walked to her car window, flipping open his ticket book, she said, "I bet you are going to sell me a ticket to the Utah State Troopers Ball." He replied, "Utah State Troopers don't have balls." There was a moment of silence while she smiled and he realized what he had just said. He then closed his book, got back in his patrol car and left. She was laughing too hard to start her car.

Technorati tags: humor, jokes, trooper