Here at Gramps' Place, we share very funny and sometimes pretty lame jokes, interesting, motivational or educational stories, fun facts and also tips on how to stay healthy.
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Joke: Customer Service
A really well-done funny vid, check it out!
http://www.callcentermovie.com/movie/F8MedKf150.swf
Tags: humor, customer service, joke
Joke: Lie Detecting Robot
Kyle returned late from school that day and his dad asked him, "Son why are you late from school?"
Kyle answered, "Dad, we had extra classes today".
Much to his astonishment the robot jumped up and slapped Kyle on his face.
His dad told him, "Son this robot is special in that it can detect a Lie and will then slap the person who lied. Now come on tell me the truth.
Why are you late?"
"Dad, I went to a movie"
"Which movie?"
"The Ten Commandments"
Immediately, Kyle got a slap on the face from the robot.
"Sorry Dad, I went to see the movie Sex Queen".
"Shame on you son, when I was your age I never watched obscene movies or misbehaved" Immediately, the dad gets a tight slap on the face from the robot.
Hearing the last sentence, Kyle's mother comes walking out of the kitchen and sarcastically says to her husband, "After all he is YOUR son!!!"
To which the robot steps up and gives Kyle's mother a resounding slap on her face!
Story: A Mother's Love
For cutting the grass: $5.00
For cleaning up my room this week: $1.00
For going to the store for you: $.50
Baby-sitting my kid brother while you went shopping: $.25
Taking out the garbage: $1.00
For getting a good report card: $5.00
For cleaning up and raking the yard: $2.00
Total owed: $14.75
Well, his mother looked at him standing there, and the boy could see the memories flashing through her mind. She picked up the pen, turned over the paper he'd written on, and this is what she wrote:
For the nine months I carried you while you were growing inside me: No Charge
For all the nights that I've sat up with you, doctored and prayed for you: No Charge
For all the trying times, and all the tears that you've caused through the years: No Charge
For all the nights that were filled with dread, and for the worries I knew were ahead: No Charge
For the toys, food, clothes, and even wiping your nose: No Charge
Son, when you add it up, the cost of my love is: No Charge
When the boy finished reading what his mother had written, there were big tears in his eyes, and he looked straight at his mother and said, "Mom, I sure do love you." And then he took the pen and in great big letters he wrote: "PAID IN FULL".
Lessons:
- You will never how much your parents worth till you become a parent
- Be a giver not an asker, especially with your parents. there is a lot to give, besides money.
Tags: story, motivational, mother
Miscellaneous: Close a Bag of Potato Chips
Tags: miscellaneous, bag, close
Joke: School
A new group of first graders were in class for the first time.
The teacher told them, "You are in first grade now and we do not talk 'baby talk' in my classroom. When I point to you, stand, tell me your name, and something you did this summer."
The first child stood, "My name is Jackie, I visited my Nanny." The teacher said "That's great, but from now on we will say Grandmother. There is no 'baby talk' in the first grade."
The second child stood, "My name is Regina. I rode a choo choo this summer." The teacher replied, "That's good, but from now on we will say train. Remember, no 'baby talk' in first grade."
The third child stood, "My name is Frank and I read a book this summer." The teacher replied, "That's wonderful Frank! What book did you read?"
The little boy very proudly replied, "Winnie the Shit.
Tags: joke, humor, school
Health: About Green Potatoes
According to Wikipedia, deep-frying potatoes at high temperature (306oF) effectively lowers the level of toxins. But boiling them (212oF) has no effect. Best to stay on the safe side and just cut away the green parts. The NIH website mentions that the potato sprouts can also have concentrated solanine, so those too should never be eaten.
